Be Good to Others

You never know how what you do in life will affect others. I try to keep that in mind and hope that I am treating others with the same respect and open mindedness thatI would like others to meet me with.

 A few days ago, a colleague came to me begging that I re-shoot her photo that goes with her column in the paper. She told a story of how a store clerk had recognized her from her head shot but then later chased her down out of the store with the advice that she get a new photo taken. Yikes. Honest but harsh. I understood completely though. I am never satisfied with photos of me. Maybe because I look more tired than I think I ought to, or have a more wrinkles than I would like but I am super critical. So when I shoot head shots of people, I look at them. I sit them down and look at their face. I have them turn slowly from side to side until I see the best angle. I tell them what I am doing but it makes a difference. I always shoot standing on a small ladder to. the subject is the looking up and the lines are smoother that way. I borrow techniques from Irving Penn "say Thursday" instead of "cheese". Kate moss always thinks of having her chin on a ledge to help her not smash her chin into her neck when she poses. I worked with my colleague as I had done with many women in the office before her. She loved the result. She loved it so much she brought me a thank you gift and that was not expected or necessary. I just want people to love how they look and been seen how others really see them, not how a quick posed stiff snapshot makes them look. Afther the shoot, I got to thinking about all of this and I said to my friend across the pod, "you never really know how what you do affects others until you die do you?" "Not unless they tell you." And that is valuable too.

 If someone touches your life, let them know. My friend from elementary to high school told me that the hours I spent talking on the phone to him when we were growing up meant so much to him because his parents were divorcing and it helped to have someone to talk to. I had no idea until he told me this a few months ago, 30 years later.

 A student let me know that my class touched her and made her see things in a different way. Her note telling me this, after I had a hard week dealing with life, gave me strength and purpose. For her to care enough to write that note was important to me and made a difference.

 I know people always say let your family know how much you love them and care but expand that to friends, colleagues and even acquaintances. Treat others how you want to be treated and forgive those who cause you minor inconveniences. That is all.

the Release

Have you ever just let loose and cried in the car? Feeling particularly stressed with life, I sobbed on the way into work this morning. I didn't get any sleep last night because my A/C went out and the house was 90 degrees. Outside was not much better but at least there was a breeze. If my house were in a more private area and if I did not mind the sound of mosquitoes buzzing in my ear, I would have slept outside in my hammock. So lack of sleep, impending pricey A/C repair, missing my son who is away for two weeks and being responsible for caring for other peoples pets added up to the need for a release. At 8 am, drinking is not an option for me. I began to cry. I was careful to drive just out of view of the drivers next to me. At stop lights I would stay out of direct view, mostly. Then I had to stop. First car in line. As I waited for the car to go by I saw folks looking at me. Two guys in a truck went by and the passenger stared with a look that seemed to say "what do you have to cry about?" The woman waiting for the light on the other side of the street looked at me sympathetically and shook her head as if she had experienced a morning like that as well. I was crying for being divorced, jealous of those who have a partner to share burdens like this with. Someone who can hold them and whisper "it will be all right." I was crying for my son who I miss as much as he misses me. He calls every night in tears telling me how homesick he is. I was crying about being in pain and not being able to do the physical activities I like to do and the work I need to do. Crying for the B.S. that I would have to deal with at work that I did not feel like facing. Things were a little better when I got to work. The AC repair guy I wanted called me and ended up fixing the problem. I was able to face the folks at work who I was fearing. I will credit lack of sleep for my disinterested tolerance. I will still miss my kid but will watch some Phineas and Ferb to feel like he is there with me. As for the lack of a partner to share my life, I just need to get over it and enjoy this stage of my life. but truth be told, I still would like to share it.