Thursday, March 4, 2010

Lists

I have noticed that when my life seems out of control, I have a tendency to make lists, obsessively.

Things to sell:
1. Western saddle
2. Wedding dress
3. old computer
4. several old cameras
5. media pins (from my collection that is a huge dust gatherer)

Somehow it makes my life seem more organized and together, even if I never even follow the list.

To do today:
1. buy dog food
2. bank
3. car registration
4. paint bedroom
5. steam clean carpets

The lists can even get outrageously ambitious on the "to do" side of things. I know I can't paint the bedroom in a day but it is on the list and it is a project that I intend to complete.

Home improvement list:
1. fix wall cracks
2. repave driveway
3. weed gardens
4. stain the floor of the porch
5. paint the trim on the feed shed

The home improvement list is much longer than 5 things. I would love to be able to have the house "sell ready" should the need arise. I understand that is unrealistic but at the same time it is a goal. Unfortunately most of those goals cost some serious money.

People I would like to find again:
1. Nicky Tebbutt from Tenby, Wales
2. Eric Strauss from Sigma Chi at SU
3. Peter Hilgartner, my partner in crime in my college Russian class
4. Miss Collison, my fave 4th grade teacher
5. myself

I am curious what kind of life these people have had and what they are doing now. Nothing special about that. Everyone is curious about people that were once important to us, whether they knew it or not.

Things I want to learn:
1. play the drums
2. canter piaf
3. another language fluently (Spanish would be the most practical)
4. how to propagate plants successfully
5. patience

I hesitate to say "learn before I die". That just seems like it gives you time to procrastinate. Only God knows this, I guess. I am kind of waiting for my son to get older. Then he will be interested in things other than having mom entertain him. Hopefully I will not be driving him to those other interests but likely I will. maybe we can combine our interests.

Places I want to go:
1. Belize
2. Wales (again, all over)
3. Portugal
4. Australia
5. New Zealand
6. Colorado (to show my son)
7. Pecos Wilderness (again)
8. The Pacific northwest
9. Iceland

All of those on horseback preferably. I better get crackin because I know there are even more places I would like to go but I cannot think of them off hand. Wish I could vacation swap with people in all of these places so all I would have to pay for is airfare.

Somehow, my life seems calmer now.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

connecting with the past

Many friends talk about the fun they have had connecting with friends from the past on Facebook. It works for me. I am not a letter writer or a phone person. Without the computer, it would be tough for me to keep up with all the great people I have met over the years.

I have found my first best friend, Katie. Our families used to vacation in Ocean City together. I have memories or the beach and the house we stayed in. We lived a hilly woodsy trail away from each other. She had a hill near her house that I was convinced showed the curve of the earth. It was so perfect. We would sled on it in the winter and roll down it in the summer. We played in the stream that was near her house and decided our motto for playing in the woods was "never trust leaves!" Usually leaves hid the water underneath and if you were not careful you would get very wet feet. We dug out the trunk of a fallen tree and made a fort. Yes, Mrs. Blanchard, that is where that Indian blanket went.

I never moved growing up, so my friends from elementary school, continued to be my friends in junior high and high school. I just seemed to add more as the schools got bigger. I was always a drama queen in school, meaning, I loved to be on stage pretending to be someone else. The teachers used to let us act out "Welcome Back Kotter" episodes in 6th grade. Looking back it must have cracked them up. I looked forward to the chance when I would get to audition for the sixth grade operetta. We did "Snow Queen".

But I digress, I really was thinking about Facebook and forgiveness. Many friends have spoken of being contacted by people who were bullies in school. The wounds run deep. Forgive and "Friend"? or IGNORE. "Friend" and then let them know how it made you feel when they picked on you? So many choices.

I am sure I must have hurt feelings in school. Before Facebook,one boy told me I ripped the Valentine he gave me up in front of him in elementary school. I did not remember this, but I am sorry. I want to say sorry to everyone who's feeling I may have hurt. I was young, insecure and not particularly aware.

Facebook brings back so many memories, good and bad.

I am older and much more forgetful now but I remember those people I was not comfortable around because I thought they would be quick to point out my shortcomings. They probably did not even care. I tried not to be around them very much to avoid being hurt. I admired everyone who was good at math. I lost it around geometry. I wondered if everyone felt as lost in French as I did, even though I had been taking it for 5 years. I think I always felt that anything before college did not matter very much in the way of how it shaped your life. I wish I had studied more, that part DID matter. Funny how most of my connections from the past are high school. Are my high school memories stronger even though they are older? Could be because I don't remember last names of my college chums that I have not connected with them. College was a bit of a blur.

I enjoy the connections I have made with friends and acquaintances from the past. I see that we have so much more in common as we grow older. It does not matter what part of the country we live in. In some way we all connect through our jobs, families, sense of humor and I am thankful for that. I love when my local friends interact with my oldest friends without ever having met face to face. The world grows smaller every day and hopefully better through our friendships.