Mating Season

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat. What is that? I thought as I tried to catch a nap while my son watched cartoons in the bedroom. There it goes again! Then a noise that sounded like someone started heavy machinery to tear up concrete. Geez, this is insane!

I rolled out of bed and wandered downstairs to the hubby's office. He had the tunes going and the bass roaring. Ahhhh, that is it. I told him I could hear his bass upstairs. He grinned and nodded in bass heaven.

As I left his office, I heard the heavy machinery again. What was my neighbor doing? I went outside to be nosy. HE was just cutting his lawn. hmmmm.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat. There it was again!!

I looked up at the chimney where the noise was coming from. A woodpecker! I waved my arms and he flew away. As I was going back inside, he came back.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat

Now I adore woodpeckers. I love the warbly chirp they use to call to each other. I like the chipper red heads. I love that they eat bugs. Did I have termites in my chimney? What had I been paying an exterminator for? Oh yeah, we terminated our service a month ago.

I scared him off again and went up to have my nap. No such luck.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat

I opened the window and climbed onto the roof looking for something to throw at him. He hopped around to the other side of the chimney and discovered the chimney cover again.

Bang bang bang...heavy machinery when you are inside. Cymbals when you are outside.

Well the nap was not going to happen. I let the cat out on the roof. He meowed and was curious but the woodpecker was too high to be bothered.

Went outside to weed in the shade. Between weed pulling I was throwing ricks at the chimney. It was enough to scare him away but he always came back. I was starting to see where he was tearing up the trim. I have a bad arm so there is no chance that I would actually hit him. I starting thinking about making a slingshot, something I have not done since I was about 11. Finally after an hour of our feud, he took off.

This morning he was back.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat

SIGH

I went online to see what folks have done in my case. I learned that you need a Federal permit to "control" them. They use the hammering to claim territory and attract a mate. They look for things that resonate and carry the sound. Once established, they go back to finding bugs in trees.

My only thought was, "So find a girlfriend already!!"

I got on the roof and scared him away a few more time but it was time to go to work. I needed to get going.

I think I need to buy a fake owl and some rubber snakes to fling onto the roof. Maybe that will help. I truly understand the Woody Woodpecker cartoons now. He was such a pest and knew it!! I am convinced this little guy and his buddy who likes the chimney flashing, know exactly what they are doing. I am just happy I will not hear that laugh.