Real and Imaginary Discussions

Lists

2010-03-04T13:26:00.003-06:00

I have noticed that when my life seems out of control, I have a tendency to make lists, obsessively.

Things to sell:
1. Western saddle
2. Wedding dress
3. old computer
4. several old cameras
5. media pins (from my collection that is a huge dust gatherer)

Somehow it make my life seem more organized and together even if I never even follow the list.

To do today:
1. buy dog food
2. bank
3. car registration
4. paint bedroom
5. steam clean carpets

The lists can even get outrageously ambitious on the "to do" side of things. I know I can't paint the bedroom in a day but it is on the list and it is a project that I intend to complete.

Home improvement list:
1. fix wall cracks
2. repave driveway
3. weed gardens
4. stain the floor of the porch
5. paint the trim on the feed shed

The home improvement list is much longer than 5 things. I would love to be abel to have the house "sell ready" should the need arise. I understanf that is unrealistic but at the same time it is a goal. Unfortunately most of those goals cost some serious money.

People I would like to find again:
1. Nicky Tebbutt from Tenby, Wales
2. Eric Strauss from Sigma Chi at SU
3. Peter Hilgartner, my partner in crime in my college Russian class
4. Miss Collison, my fave 4th grade teacher
5. myself

I am curious what kind of life these people have had and what they are doing now. Nothing special about that. Everyone is curious about people that were once imortant to us, whether they knew it or not.

Things I want to learn:
1. play the drums
2. canter piaf
3. another language fluently (Spanish would be the most practical)
4. how to propagate plants successfully
5. patience

I hesistate to say "learn before I die". That just seems like it gives you time to procrastinate. Only God knows this, I guess. I am kind of waiting for my son to get older. Then he will be interested in things other than having mom entertain him. Hopefully I will not be driving him to those other interests but likely I will. maybe we can combine our interests.

Places I want to go:
1. Belize
2. Wales (again, all over)
3. Portugal
4. Australia
5. New Zealand
6. Colorado (to show my son)
7. Pecos Wilderness (again)
8. The Pacific northwest
9. Iceland

All of those on horseback preferably. I better get crackin because I know there are even more places I would like to go but I cannot think of them off hand. Wish I could vacation swap with people in all of these places so all I would have to pay for is airfare.

Somehow, my life seems calmer now.

connecting with the past

2010-01-14T21:45:00.006-06:00

Many friends talk about the fun they have had connecting with friends from the past on Facebook. It works for me. I am not a letter writer or a phone person. Without the computer, it would be tough for me to keep up with all the great people I have met over the years.

I have found my first best friend, Katie. Our families used to vacation in Ocean City together. I have memories or the beach and the house we stayed in. We lived a hilly woodsy trail away from each other. She had a hill near her house that I was convinced showed the curve of the earth. It was so perfect. We would sled on it in the winter and roll down it in the summer. We played in the stream that was near her house and decided our motto for playing in the woods was "never trust leaves!" Usually leaves hid the water underneath and if you were not careful you would get very wet feet. We dug out the trunk of a fallen tree and made a fort. Yes, Mrs. Blanchard, that is where that Indian blanket went.

I never moved growing up, so my friends from elementary school, continued to be my friends in junior high and high school. I just seemed to add more as the schools got bigger. I was always a drama queen in school, meaning, I loved to be on stage pretending to be someone else. The teachers used to let us act out "Welcome Back Kotter" episodes in 6th grade. Looking back it must have cracked them up. I looked forward to the chance when I would get to audition for the sixth grade operetta. We did "Snow Queen".

But I digress, I really was thinking about Facebook and forgiveness. Many friends have spoken of being contacted by people who were bullies in school. The wounds run deep. Forgive and "Friend"? or IGNORE. "Friend" and then let them know how it made you feel when they picked on you? So many choices.

I am sure I must have hurt feelings in school. Before Facebook,one boy told me I ripped the Valentine he gave me up in front of him in elementary school. I did not remember this, but I am sorry. I want to say sorry to everyone who's feeling I may have hurt. I was young, insecure and not particularly aware.

Facebook brings back so many memories, good and bad.

I am older and much more forgetful now but I remember those people I was not comfortable around because I thought they would be quick to point out my shortcomings. They probably did not even care. I tried not to be around them very much to avoid being hurt. I admired everyone who was good at math. I lost it around geometry. I wondered if everyone felt as lost in French as I did, even though I had been taking it for 5 years. I think I always felt that anything before college did not matter very much in the way of how it shaped your life. I wish I had studied more, that part DID matter. Funny how most of my connections from the past are high school. Are my high school memories stronger even though they are older? Could be because I don't remember last names of my college chums that I have not connected with them. College was a bit of a blur.

I enjoy the connections I have made with friends and acquaintances from the past. I see that we have so much more in common as we grow older. It does not matter what part of the country we live in. In some way we all connect through our jobs, families, sense of humor and I am thankful for that. I love when my local friends interact with my oldest friends without ever having met face to face. The world grows smaller every day and hopefully better through our friendships.

Season of Giving

2009-12-11T09:44:00.005-06:00

I love giving gifts. To be honest, I really get more of a charge out of giving that getting. I tend to ask for practical gifts when pressed for a list.
That being said, my spouse tends not to ask for a list from me and strikes out on his own to get me the most practical gift he can find. Past gifts have included feed buckets for the horses, a tiller, a Spotbot, upright vacuum cleaner, and various other instruments of household fun. These gifts do not offend me as they would most wives. I know they will be used and appreciated.
He does listen to my few frivolous requests though. The lovely royal purple jacket that cost way too much for me to buy for myself comes to mind. He has bought me riding breeches, even though he does not care a whit for things equestrian. Last year he completely surprised me with the winter white outdoor swing coat that I had been eyeing in the catalogues for months. The sad part about that is that is was not cold enough to wear it last year so it remains in the closet unworn. I am hoping to wear it this year, or at least have an excuse to wear it somewhere nice.
We chose to focus on our son this year for gift giving. Because of the economy, and perhaps the fact that we have everything we need for materialistic happiness, we decided to have a price limit on the the gift we give each other. I have found his gift this year. I found two, in fact, and still stayed below the price limit. I have given him one idea for me, and yes it is practical but luxurious. I even gave him the Target flier when it was on sale a few weeks back. So if he laments the fact that he has no ideas of what to get me for Christmas, remind him of the king size ultra plush Shabby Chic blanket that I am dreaming of. But don't tell him I told you.

The promise of a meteor shower

2009-11-16T23:23:00.005-06:00

As I got back from my walk, I remembered that tonight was the night the Leonid meteor shower. I leaned back against my car and looked into the sky. I scanned the heavens not knowing what area to look. Suddenly in the south eastern sky, I saw a flash and a streak of light fall toward the horizon.

With that, and the promise of more, I hurried into the house, grabbed my Snuggie (my mother-in-law gave me one for my birthday)off the couch, turned off the porch lights and tried not to trip as I went down the steps to the yard.

I dragged an Adirondack chair across the lawn and settled in looking toward the south, but with a clear view of the east. The night was more alive with sound than meteors. Dogs barked and I tried to guess which direction they were coming from and who those barking dogs belonged to. The horses were blowing as they worked on the pile of hay I left for them to eat on this chilly night. Tree frogs in the autumn have a different call than in the summer, sort of a click, click, click but with the resonance of a wooden percussion instrument. I smelled Daisy's foul breath as she came over looking for a scritch on the ears. Time for a cleaning, I think to myself. Gatsby, the clumsier of the dogs, knocks into my knees as he comes looking for his pat on the head. Suddenly the two take off barking after some unseen prey. I wait to see if I hear the crashing through the brush that would mean deer were trying to settle in on the long grass out front. I don't hear it so I think it must be a rabbit or something small and quick.

It is quiet for a moment. I see another flash of light in the sky and a long streak of light falling toward the ground. Not bad, I think to myself, two sightings. I wrap the Snuggie around me tighter, and stretch out my arms to catch two furry dogs heads. They are planted under my hands enjoying a good scratch. In the distance I hear a coyote howl, then another joins in. Soon the whole pack is howling and yipping in a frenzy. They must have caught something for dinner. I continue to pet the dogs hoping they don't decide to join in. Soon it is quiet again. Dewey is running around the pasture. The cold must be making him frisky.

I keep scanning the sky for more meteors.

Nothing.

I am getting chilly and sleepy. The dogs trail along eagerly as go back in the house, like I am the meteor and they are my tail disappearing into the house.

Me and my crazy dreams...

2009-11-11T09:41:00.004-06:00

Last night, or I should say this morning, I had a dream that Colin Firth ended our affair with an email that said something in French on the top line, the next line said "I am afraid it has to be this way but we both know we like the pink ones" there was a partial address (British) and then a photo attached that was him with a woman...maybe me? In this dream, I remember being surprised because I was not even aware we were having a fling. Could not even remember being with him at all..but there was this picture.....I careful composed an email back to him. I wanted it to be in French as well. I looked up on the internet how to say "easy come, easy go". I woke up before I could find the translation.

I always have the strangest dreams......

The Neighborhood

2009-10-16T09:09:00.003-05:00

Does proximity of houses have something to do with how friendly you are with your neighbors? Or is it just that you have all chosen a neighborhood for the same reason and therefore have a common ground. I think about this quite a bit.

When we lived in a average neighborhood in South Austin, where the homes were about 20 feet from each other, we never really were social with our neighbors. We knew them enough to chat on the sidewalk at 11pm, let their cat play in our house, and knock on the door to ask why the hell they turned off our water from the main valve on the lawn. We did not know them well enough to ask them to watch the dog when we went away, to ask them to turn down the music so our walls would not vibrate or borrow a cup of anything. I did love

We moved to the country after four years of living in that 1300 sq foot home in south Austin. Our nearest neighbor for a long time was the one across the street, across the street and down a 500yard driveway, not so close. Basically neighbors are close for a walk but far enough away to not be heard in daily activities.

Last night I drove down the hill to Terri's. Dropped off the kiddo to play with her son. Her hubby was home to watch the boys so we talked horses for a bit and then went for a walk. A walk down the driveway, and across the street to Kellie's. We opened a bottle of wine, sat on the front porch, until the mosquitoes got the better of us, and chatted. We finished up the wine and headed back to Terri's. It was dark by then but we felt relaxed and happy. The boys were fed and happy as well.

This sort of thing happens all the time. I love it. We have impromptu pool parties, pot luck dinners, game night and you can always find someone to watch your kid for an hour or so if you need to get some work done. Then there are the planned events....wine and cheese parties, progressive dinners, food and toy drives, holiday parades and Halloween hayrides. Maybe it is because we all have our "space" from each other and maybe because of the isolation, we crave company. I have no idea. I do know when we were on top of our neighbors, we wanted nothing to do with them. Now I would not trade my neighbors and friends for all the money in the world. They make my life and my family's life infinitely better.

Smoking ghost

2009-10-06T09:50:00.003-05:00

Last night...3am.... I woke up and smelled cigarette smoke. More like the kind of smell when it is on someone after they have been outside for a smoke than a fresh smell. It was a harsh smelling brand, like Camel or a hand rolled. It confused me. I don't smoke, my husband quit years ago and we don't live near anyone who smokes. As a matter of fact, we physically don't live near our neighbor's homes.

I got out of bed to see if maybe husband had fallen on old habits and was sneaking a smoke outside on the front porch. He was sound asleep in our son's room with him. Puzzled I decided not to go downstairs to check it out. I went back to bed. Then I heard to front door latch click. It sounded like the front door. Sometimes if the door is not locked or shut properly it blows open. I got up to see if that happened. Nope, the door was shut. Daisy, our border collie/coyote mix was sleeping in the hall by the door. Surely if someone was there, she would have barked up a storm.

Back to bed. I decided to meditate to clear my head. The smoker's odor still present. I tried to keep it out of my head. My mind started to form a picture of this spirit that I did not like. A man with an old felt hat and sneering, snarling grin, a nose that looked like it had been broken a few times, dark stubble from a day's old beard and eyes that had no real eyeball just a glow. Okay! No more meditation. Happy thoughts! My imagination is really too much sometimes.

I really an getting curious about this cigarette smell though. It has been inside my truck on many occasions. I thought a mechanic was an ass and left a cigarette butt in my AC unit or near a fan. Lately I have been noticing the smell in my car too. Only when I am alone though. There have been no smokers in my truck or car, not even as passengers.

Thinking back to smokers in my family and the only one I knew was my brother-in-law who died young. Why would he be hanging out with me? Why not my sister? Maybe it is someone I never met, maybe it is my imagination. I really have no idea but I really do not like the smell of stale cigarette smoke. That is part of the reason I don't like to go to places where folks will be smoking. I am open to all suggestions. Thoughts?

My Vision of Future Beauty Standards

2009-09-22T15:28:00.004-05:00

If I were a BEAUTY fashionista, I would make some changes to make the average female, over 40 set, feel much better about themselves. First of all I would make laugh lines and forehead wrinkles cool. If you don't have them, you have no sense of humor and no life experience. Basically you are not cool, have no substance and live a vacant shallow life. The twenty something set would be clamouring for makeup to enhance their budding wrinkles, practice crinkling their nose when they smile and laugh at least 4 hours a day.

Next thing would be enhancing the black circle under eyes. Think of the possibilities, blue tones, purple tones, shades of gray. Under eye shadow I will call it. The average over 40 set will save a fortune on makeup because they have earned their circles trying to squeeze 50 hours of activities into 40 hours.

Lips will not be plumped. Thin lips will enhance the large eyes, that framed by the dark circles. Pillowy lips will not be a sign of youth and sexuality, more like a gross exaggeration. Thin lips, accented with a slash of red or plum lipstick. White teeth will still be vogue and with thinner lips, they can be seen much better.

Age spots will be known as freckles and be cute. That extra chin will be viewed as a sign of wealth and prosperity (much like olden times).

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to surf some plastic surgery websites....wonder how much Botox injections run....

The Beach Club part one

2009-07-21T09:55:00.005-05:00

This past weekend I took my son to his Oma and Opa's house on Long Island. They live in a lovely town with large homes, old trees, manicured landscaping, the same ubiquitous floral wreath on every door and quaint shops in the village. Because it rarely gets hot, most older homes do not have central air, relying on window AC units when the mercury rises above 90 degrees.

This weekend the hydrangeas were in blooms in various shades of blue and purple. Black-eyed susans danced in the breeze and impatiens brightened shady nooks in flower beds.

We spent a good amount of time at the Lawrence Beach Club on Atlantic Beach this weekend. It is an old club that some families have been going to for years and years. There is a main dining room, an upstairs dining room and bar area forbidden to children, lockers with showers for changing and cleaning up, a pool, tennis courts, playground, shaded dining deck, and of course lovely beach access.

We attended a Family Dance Saturday night geared toward the kids. The boys wear blue blazers, or the occasional seersucker suit. Some have ties, most wear shorts and loafers. The girls are lovely in their Lilly Pulitzer dresses or other cute sundresses with jaunty bows in their shoulder length hair. All the children are bronzed by the sun and run wild with the confidence that this is a safe place to be. Younger boys wrestle in the sand in their blue blazers or climb the dunes. The older boys try to look cool on the dance floor in their madras shorts and aviator sun glasses. The girls, all the girls, are on the dance floor twirling their dresses or learning the latest line dance.

My son chose to stick close to momma. He made several trips to the buffet learning that there are several types of salami. At the dessert buffet, he learned that his eyes are bigger than his stomach,leaving one of his two scoops of ice cream to turn to a cold soup.

At the end of the evening he asked to leave, feeling exhausted from playing on the dunes and dancing next to his table. One the way home, he asked if he could take off his "costume". I tried hard not to laugh in the back seat of the car. I had spent quite a bit of time earlier explaining that kids in New York dress differently than kids in Texas. He was convinced he looked silly in his blazer. Later he referred to it as "the stupid jacket". Again, I had to suppress my laughter. I had tried to get him to wear the outfit his Oma had planned for him complete with sand dollar tie. He looked adorable. But like his father, he has definite ideas about what looks good and what does not. Maybe next year, he will remember that all the kids dress that way and he will submit. Somehow I doubt it.

What can I do?

2009-07-08T09:49:00.005-05:00

My friend Kurt, one Rachel's helpers on the ranch, recently had surgery to remove a cancerous growth from his brain. He collapsed while doing some chores and had to be rushed to the hospital for a diagnosis. The news was not good. Cancer. The doctors found it when they went into his skull to see what the mysterious shadow on his brain was. They removed what they could and he was released a few days later.

He is a super mellow guy who is used to a physical lifestyle. He wears a Chicago-style handlebar mustache and frequently is shirtless when he is doing chores outside around the house. His horses are his pride and joy. He has 5 pure bred Andalusians. A stallion, 2 brood mares and 2 fillies. They are sweet and wonderful and give him so much joy. He is worried, I think, about what will become of them should he not survive the brain cancer. In this economy, not many are breeding or buying expensive horses no matter how stellar the bloodlines. There is talk of setting up a trust for the horses and creating a non-profit foundation to care for them and, in turn, promote the values of the Spanish Riding school here in Central Texas. This is all a new concept to the friends who surround and support him now. We are trying to figure out how to make his wish come true. We could develop our skills (horse and human)into a therapeutic riding center eventually.

I was taking photos of the horses last night and snapped a photo of Kurt playing with Espera his 3 month old filly. As I went through the edits last night, I fell in love with the photo. You can see the staples in his head from the surgery, his muscular arms from years of physical labor and the love he has for his horse.

This morning, I thought what if I started taking photographs, formal portraits or candid, of folks who are terminally ill. The families could donate the fee to the not yet created, but soon to be, foundation for the Andalusians and education. I could do short videos too. Having just dealt with my horse's death, the loss of the photos I had taken of him, and the comfort I get from the video of him, I thought the feeling may be double or triple for someone trying to struggle with the illness of a loved one.

I would love to have a wonderful photo shoot of someone I loved to remember them by. I plan to do formal portraits of Kurt very soon, while he still looks strong and healthy. If our prayers work and the cancer goes into remission, then we still have great pics of him. I feel like this is a way I can help both families and provide money honor Kurt's wish to have the bloodlines of his horses and the values they represent carried on.

cool manipulated pics

2009-07-07T07:25:00.004-05:00

So I lost all my recent pics of Sahil when the hard drive crashed in April. I didn't want to spend 500 bucks to recover what was there because I thought I had most of it backed up. Well, not quite. I did some video frame grabs for my friend Marjorie Moore, She is a fabulous artist and said she would paint a picture of Sahil in the future for me. She needed stills with some life so I looked through the video and grabbed some frames. Since the quality was dicey, I didn't mind putting it through the Photoshop wringer. These are my first efforts.

Sadness

2009-06-29T10:09:00.006-05:00

I had two dreams of Sahil, my small but graceful Egyptian Arabian, in the last 6 months. In one dream we were lying together in a beautiful hilly field bathed in golden light. His head was on my lap and we were so peaceful. I could feel the love and devotion he had for me. I think also in that dream we were cantering around the mountains, through fields of flowers up and down hills and we were so happy. There was not fear, only a togetherness and partnership that was filled with trust. The dream ended with us lying in the field together.

I took that dream to mean we had reach a new level in our partnership. After falling off him and suffering a serious injury, I was looking for a sign that things were getting better.

The other dream also took place in the mountains. We were climbing up hills through a mountain village with streets so narrow, cars were not allowed or perhaps did not exist. The homes were built into the hillside and steps to front doors came right off the street. Window boxes spilled of brightly colored flowers brightening the white and gray facades. Sahil and I rode through the street looking for something that I cannot remember. I got off him to go into a home for a visit and when I came out he was gone. I looked everywhere for him. I asked everyone but no one had seen him. I was not worried that he had been stolen, I just needed to find him. I woke up still searching.

Now I realize that maybe those dream were trying to let me know he would be leaving me soon.

Sahil died Sunday. It was fast. I barely had time to say goodbye. In fact looking back, I did not say goodbye like I would have liked to because while his body was on the ground engulfed in a seizure, his spirit was not there anymore. By the time the emergency vet answered the phone, by the time my neighbor got me a hose to cool him down, before the other horses realized what had happened, he was gone.

My last living memory of him is listening to him scream from the pasture to greet me and Bailey as we came back from our ride. This was not unusual, he was always screaming at me when I can out of the house in the morning to feed, when I drove in the driveway, or anytime I would say hello to him.

I rode down the driveway, untacked Bailey and started to give him a bath. That is when my neighborhood friend Amy came running down the driveway. "Sahil is down! Gary is with him. Call the vet." It was like my mind shut off. I could not think. What happened? Broken leg? heat stroke? I ran to Sahil and Gary as I was on the phone with Rachel trying to see which vet could get there the fastest. Sahil lay twitching on the ground, legs straight out. His eyes were rolling back in his head. I paged the emergency vet and got it wrong 4 times as I pet Sahil's neck begging him to hang in there. Amy and Gary drove to the neighbor across the street who is a vet. She was not home. I felt horrible bothering her but Sahil was dying in front of me and I was helpless. The emergency vet called me back as Sahil took his last breath. "What is the emergency?," he asked. " Well none now I think my horse just died., " I answered in shock. There was no pulse. I hung up and stood there in disbelief. I tried to shut his eyes but they would not shut. My neighbors came back and stood with me. One went to get a tarp, the other fly spray. I walked across the pasture to close the gate so the Bailey and Dewey wold not go near Sahil's body. Bailey was still in the cross ties where I had stopped, mid-shampoo. I rinsed him down and put him in with Dewey.

Slowly others came by. They saw the tarp and immediately knew something was wrong. A crowd was gathering. I felt like I should get refreshments. I felt numb (I still do). People called friends with back hoes so we could bury Sahil as soon as possible. Having a dead horse in your front yard with triple digit heat can make the property values plummet. I thought of this because there were red and white balloons bobbing up and down on an open house sign two houses down the hill from the pasture where Sahil lay. I went in the house with Rachel. The others put the hose out to wet the ground so we could dig a hole and they put my tack away. Gary and Amy came back from their errand with a plant and some horse treats, so sweet considering I had probably wrecked their morning plans. My friends were so wonderful to offer comfort and support. Jake was at Mark and Carol's across the street and they offered to keep him as long as I needed. Others offered to have Jake if they needed to get things done. I felt helpless, trying not to look at the blue tarp in the front pasture.

Lorre reached the man who buried her horse. He lived close by and was at our house in a half an hour. I told him where to bury Sahil and he began to dig. Rachel and Lorre took me to get something to eat and a margarita so I would not have to see the empty shell of Sahil being buried.

I wonder how many feedings I will go through before I don't cry anymore when I pass the wash rack where I fed him. I wonder how long it will take before I don't miss his scream hello when I come home from work. Sahil was sensitive, easily bored, a prankster and very loving. It was easy to forget that I needed to have boundaries when it came to handling him. He will be missed.

crazy weather

2009-06-11T21:40:00.003-05:00

I watched the storm roll in via TV. Outside I could see the gray clouds piling up to the north. The air was heavy and still but the tree frogs were singing their normal summer song. I hurried to feed the horses so I could get them all back together in the pasture to fend for themselves in case we got bad weather. Back inside the storm still had not reached Austin. Not wanting to scare kiddo, who was just quizzing me about tornadoes this morning, I watched the weather upstairs while he watched his show downstairs. From the bedroom, I could see an amazing lightening show. Time to go get stuff ready.

Downstairs, I cleaned out the closet under the stairs. We keep out cleaning supplies there so I transplanted them to the back hallway. I put down a sheet, some floor pillows, a cube pillow and got a sleeping bag. My mother called from Virginia to let me know a tornado was spotted in Austin. Uh, yeah, thanks. As if I was not worried enough as it is. I quickly hung up and continued my quest to make the closet fun. I gathered a flash light and head lamp.

I told Jake we were going to have a cave adventure. He tried it out and decided it might be fun. He got his portable DVD player, his Bakergan and two rubber snakes. He brought in banana bread and chocolate milk. I grabbed my computer and some books for him. We put up a baby gate to keep the dogs out of the closet. I love them but they are stinky and hot.

At this moment, Gatsby is sitting just outside the baby gate in the hallway, whining occasionally. Daisy in in the kitchen and Jake and I are lounging on the pillows in the closet. He is watching Ant Bully and I am typing away. The door to the closet is still open and the TV is on although I really cannot hear it because of the movie. If I shut the door to the closet Gatsby gets very worried. The storm seems to have weakened but not the thunder. Jake and I are kind of comfy and will hang here until it goes away. Anything for him to go to bed later.

Summer cicadas

2009-06-09T21:06:00.004-05:00

I am listening to the cicadas sing their summer song and it reminds me of summers past, growing up in a house in the woods of Maryland. The trees were so tall and blocked the afternoon sun so you thought it was really later than it was.

Yesterday I found a cicada skin shed by the growing bug. I brought it in to show my son. I used to gather these in the summer plucking them off trees and hunting all over trying to get more than my sisters and brother. I had a small box that once held some piece of jewelry with some cotton in it that I would keep my cicada skins in.

We spent so much time outside playing in the woods. We would run down our steep driveway through the cul de sac and into the woods that took us down another long hill to the stream. We had our favorite areas. One spot had a dead tree that we could hide in. One opening of the tree was on the top side of the bank and the other lower where a spring came out. We would climb though and pretend it was a house, or a rocket. The earth was worn smooth from our bottoms scraping the dirt from the top of the bank to the stream bed.

Further downstream was a favorite place to catch crayfish. We would catch them and bring them home. Mom would make us take them back the next day telling us they would not survive in tap water. Looking back on this, I think she just wanted her Tupperware back in the cabinet where it belonged.

We would come home soaking wet from slipping on leaves and ending up in the stream. We would have snake swim through our arms as we careful held the Tupperware steady in the current patiently waiting for the crayfish to fall into our trap. We walked through small waterfalls. Practiced balancing of slippery rocks and hopped from rock to rock across the stream. We never ventured into the woods across the stream, to this day I don't remember what was on the other side but more woods. I never got poison ivy or got bitten by a poisonous snake. We would be away from home for hours. As the day ended we would trudge slowly up the hill home using small branches to pull ourselves up the steep hill. We always wondered if the hike home was worth going to ply in the stream. But the next day we would run happily down the hill and do it all over again.

Parenting challenge

2009-06-01T10:25:00.003-05:00

We have the battle of wills at home every so often. They seem to be getting more intense as the little man gets older.

Yesterday was an easy day until I began to exert my will upon my child. I had to work so he needed to go to a neighbor's house for awhile. He loves these folks and, as a mater of fact, we spent the evening before over at their house for dinner. They are not strangers to us.

As soon as we went to get in the car to go, he suddenly has a tummy ache of unspecified origin. Then he does not want to go, in fact, he wants to go to work with me. UH no. I can get much more done, quickly, without a 4 yr old under foot. I tried to explain this and that I would be home quickly if I could just go, do my thing and come home.

We arrived at another neighbor's where we were to meet everyone for a pool outing. Now I cannot get him out of the car. Nimbly he hops back and forth over the seats, just out of reach. I am losing patience, counting to ten. I gather his stuff, slam the car doors, take a spare set of keys just in case he locks himself in (the car is running) and walk away. I linger with the adults explaining the issue. Nathan, 6, goes and tries to get Jake out of the car. No luck.

I walk back, Karen who is watching him for me comes with me. She sweetly opens the back door and explains to Jake that she just wants to talk to him and she is not going to grab him out of the car. He hops to the front. I open the door, tired of this nonsense, and grab him. I carry him to the poolside and sit him on my lap while he clings to me like a baby koala bear on his momma.

Finally he decides that he wants to go play inside. The hostess and I take him in show him where the bathroom his (he knows but it is a cautionary measure). He settled in and I high-tailed it out of there.

I got an email later letting me know that he was happy, playing in the pool and having a great time. He spent 20 minutes playing inside, regaining his composure but after that..... good times.

Ten Minutes

2009-05-20T22:53:00.002-05:00

Ten minutes in the morning.
Ten minutes until you have to get out of bed.
Ten minutes to lay there and take stock of things.
Ten minutes to lie there with your eyes closed listening to morning sounds.
Ten minutes enjoying the silence knowing your kiddo is still sleeping.
Ten minutes trying to identify the birds you hear chirping in the pre-dawn morning.
Ten minutes wondering how the sound of big trucks can carry all the way to your ears from the highway.
Ten minutes feeling where your body needs to stretch and then stretching deeply.
Ten minutes to breath in and out. Breath in the light, exhale the darkness.
Ten minutes to enjoy the softness of the sheets still cool where your body was not.
Ten minutes to lie still and pretend you are still sleeping.
Ten minutes to try and remember the great dream you were having.
Ten minutes to contemplate calling in "well" to work.

slowly open your eyes
make the mental list
one big sigh
slide the legs over the edge
touch the feet on the floor
and wish for those ten minutes back

Evening Ride

2009-05-14T18:15:00.000-05:00

In our neighborhood, we have meeting to plan the entertainment for holidays and random parties. There are all inclusive and usually pretty fun. The planning meetings themselves are valuable as we share information about the neighborhood and the residents, comings and goings, who is selling, whose dog ran away and was found by whom.

I look forward to these meeting and when I am going solo (without the kiddo) I try to walk to get a bit more exercise. I arrive sweaty but since it is just us girls...I really do not care.

Last night I decided to ride my horse Bailey. I have not ridden him in months. He is sure that he is retired and has no responsibility except steal food from the other two horses. I call him gramps, he protects the youngest horse from his half brother's jealous tendencies.

When I went to get him in the pasture, he saw the halter and walked away just out of reach. I take a few steps toward him, he takes a few step away. It is a lovely and frustrating dance that we do, until I decide to play dirty. I get some feed and pour it in the small feed pen that I have for them. Now usually when I open the gate, I know the chosen horse will run right in and eat without me putting on a halter or anything. Last night when I opened the gate Bailey ran out, past the feed pen, past me, past the house and way into the front yard.

I just stood there and shook my head. He beat me at my own game. He knew it too as he munched happily on the grass. I got the halter and the food and trekked across the yard to him. Put on his halter and let him eat a bit. We walked together back to the feed pen to I could groom him and put on his saddle. He finished his feed while I did this and was ready for the bridle. Got it on, packed the saddle bags with head lamps for the two of us, my calendar and camera.

I documented out ride to the meeting, taking film shorts as we rode along. Tough to do on most horses but Bailey is slow. We rode in a all purpose English saddle but used the reins Western, neck reining and filming. It made for bumpy video but it will be a fun short that I will post after it is produced. I filmed through his reluctance to walk towards construction workers making a racket by cleaning up a site. But I stopped filming when he spooked at a blowing pizza box from someone's overturned garbage can.

We made it to the meeting. I untacked and put him in the pasture next door. He galloped off to the far end. Whatever.

I left before the meeting ended so I could tack up before dark. I put a light on his headstall and one on my helmet. Later I read this was not the smartest idea because horses can see very well at night (which I knew) but can be temporarily blinded by flashlights (did not know). I sang my favorite riding songs to keep a nice pace and rythem. He did not spook at all but clearly was not going to stop when I saw fun neighbor David taking out the trash or neighbor Lee guarding his gate so their Mustang, who was unintentionally loose in the yard, would not run wild. We got home safe and sound. I fed the screaming Arabian half brothers and gave Bailey a little more too.

I like riding at night.

Mating Season

2009-05-11T17:09:00.003-05:00

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat. What is that? I thought as I tried to catch a nap while my son watched cartoons in the bedroom. There it goes again! Then a noise that sounded like someone started heavy machinery to tear up concrete. Geez, this is insane!

I rolled out of bed and wandered downstairs to the hubby's office. He had the tunes going and the bass roaring. Ahhhh, that is it. I told him I could hear his bass upstairs. He grinned and nodded in bass heaven.

As I left his office, I heard the heavy machinery again. What was my neighbor doing? I went outside to be nosy. HE was just cutting his lawn. hmmmm.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat. There it was again!!

I looked up at the chimney where the noise was coming from. A woodpecker! I waved my arms and he flew away. As I was going back inside, he came back.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat

Now I adore woodpeckers. I love the warbly chirp they use to call to each other. I like the chipper red heads. I love that they eat bugs. Did I have termites in my chimney? What had I been paying an exterminator for? Oh yeah, we terminated our service a month ago.

I scared him off again and went up to have my nap. No such luck.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat

I opened the window and climbed onto the roof looking for something to throw at him. He hopped around to the other side of the chimney and discovered the chimney cover again.

Bang bang bang...heavy machinery when you are inside. Cymbals when you are outside.

Well the nap was not going to happen. I let the cat out on the roof. He meowed and was curious but the woodpecker was too high to be bothered.

Went outside to weed in the shade. Between weed pulling I was throwing ricks at the chimney. It was enough to scare him away but he always came back. I was starting to see where he was tearing up the trim. I have a bad arm so there is no chance that I would actually hit him. I starting thinking about making a slingshot, something I have not done since I was about 11. Finally after an hour of our feud, he took off.

This morning he was back.

rat-a-tat-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat-tat

SIGH

I went online to see what folks have done in my case. I learned that you need a Federal permit to "control" them. They use the hammering to claim territory and attract a mate. They look for things that resonate and carry the sound. Once established, they go back to finding bugs in trees.

My only thought was, "So find a girlfriend already!!"

I got on the roof and scared him away a few more time but it was time to go to work. I needed to get going.

I think I need to buy a fake owl and some rubber snakes to fling onto the roof. Maybe that will help. I truly understand the Woody Woodpecker cartoons now. He was such a pest and knew it!! I am convinced this little guy and his buddy who likes the chimney flashing, know exactly what they are doing. I am just happy I will not hear that laugh.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-08T11:15:00.006-05:00

I am writing this on Friday because I really do not want to be too near a computer on Sunday for Mother's Day. As crazy as this may sound, I would like to celebrate the day by having breakfast with my guys, a nice big breakfast/brunch kind of thing at home. I would like if we all cooked together and had fun with it.

Then I would like to weed and work in the garden until it gets too hot. This would also be fun to do as a family. Of course Jake could play in his sandbox while we work outside. Next Daddy would take little man into town for an ice cream and grocery shopping while I rode a horse or two.

We would end the day with friends we have not seen in awhile, because they moved to the east coast. Our kids would play together and we would chat about how our lives have changed since we have become moms. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the frustrating, sometimes learning that we still have tons to learn.

That would be a great day for me. Not rushing to get anywhere, not doing the chores that need to be done, just having a day with those do whatchalike days.

The greatest gift my family could give me would not be flowers or jewelry, it would be time. Time together mixed with a little no stress time for me. I am taking the me time Saturday am, going to spa to hang with the girls. Well not girls I know well, but the organizer is visiting from out of town so it is important to her to see her Austin connections. I am happy to go. I miss her. Her friends are all very nice so I know it will be fun and relaxing.

My own mom will be coming back from visiting friends in California with Dad. I'm not sure what my sister's are up to but I suspect their kids will be around. I know my brother will do something nice with the kids for his wife. I wish all moms out there a happy Mothers Day, whether you do something or not. Oh and call your mom if you are able.

Time Flies!!!

2009-05-04T15:13:00.006-05:00

Holy Crap! I look at the date of the last post and wonder how all this time has flown by.

I have been tremendously busy at work with flu coverage. It seems silly to me in a way because more folks have died of influenza than this strain but I am not a doctor just a mom with some common sense. At our daycare, hand washing has become more stringent although it was always the norm. The hysteria seems to be dying down even though the cases are rising.

At home we have gotten rain. Mixed blessing because while we really need it, the lawn has really gotten lush. I just have not had time to mow. So Thursday night, I roped off certain parts of the front yard and let Bailey loose on the front lawn. He is a voracious eater but not an even cut (as far as lawn mowing goes). He also does not eat the weeds.

Friday went so well, I put Bailey and Sahil on the lawn. Sahil has matured quite a bit so even when the dogs barked and ran after their imaginary rabbits, he ignored them and continued to eat. He and Bailey stuck together, heads down, munching grass. Chop, rip chew, chomp, rip, chew. Very rhythmic when you listen to them.

Later in the afternoon, I walked out the front door to see Sahil standing on the walkway to the front, looking as if he was contemplating walking up the stairs onto the front porch. I moved him away but not ten minutes later he was peering in the screen porch windows. Does he have a "not so secret" desire to come in the house and hang out? Being an Arabian, he probably does.

Dewey in the meantime just jogged up and down the fence line screaming for his friends. They flipped him the horse equivalent of the middle finger and ignored him, noses buried in the lush green grass.

Last night, I went to put them back in the pasture after dark. I couldn't see them in the light of the moon but all of a sudden, I heard the clatter of hooves on the driveway as they went flying by. I walked to the gate and heard them running back. Why they were running on the driveway and not the grass is beyond me. Drama queens! I think they just like the noise of the hooves on pavement. They were happy to get back into the pasture with a very "put out" Dewey. Dewey was angry because he did not get to partake in the feast. He is too young and I did not want to be chasing horses around the 'hood at 11pm at night.

After dark

2009-04-23T16:44:00.003-05:00

"While everyone's asleep, I claim that time for me, and it's too dark to be mowin' that lawn" Trout Fishing in America

This is how I felt last night. I finally got Jake to bed. He is a little night owl. I finished folding his laundry. I did the dishes and picked up the house. Got all the beasties fed and decided to take some time for me.

Had a long hot shower, put on comfy pj's and grabbed a blanket to take outside. I thought about sitting on the porch but I wanted to see the stars. I spread the blanket out and lay down to look at the night sky. The breeze was steady so I fanned my hair out to dry. I brought some tunes but thought I would listen to night noises first.

It was a matter of minutes before I saw the shooting star. It moved slowly and left a long bright tail across the sky above me. I have to say that when I walk in the evenings, I usually am pretty lucky and see at least one shooting star a week. I wondered if this was a remnant of the meteor shower we were supposed to have had that morning.

As the wind moved through the trees, I saw brighter stars peeking through the branches of the crape myrtle tree. Feeling to lazy to move my whole body, I stretched my neck to see if they were a part of a larger constellation.

The horses were in the pasture close by. I could not see them but I heard the ripping of the grass as they ate. The occasional snort as they moved around each other. It was peaceful, soothing...I wondered what would happen if I just fell asleep out here on my fuzzy blanket. Would ants crawl over me and wake me in a stinging frenzy? Would deer sniff me wondering what was in the way of their midnight snack? I left the dogs inside for my own sanity. Daisy's high pitched bark is enough to disturb the peace of a deaf opossum 2 blocks away. Gatsby simply likes to chase and destroy if mom is about to prove he is useful. There would be no dogs to chase away any curious wildlife that came to investigate.

I noticed my hair drying in soft waves. I thought about how good laundry smells after being dried on the line. I wondered if the night breeze would give me and my pj's a fresh outside smell. I stretched my arms high above my head and took in the night air. The ear buds went in and I listened to tunes softly so I could still hear the tree frogs and crickets.

This was better than meditation. Actually, it was a sort of meditation except that my mind was not empty of thought. Thoughts were racing through my brain, skipping like stones over the water, from subject to subject. I let it go for a bit then quieted my internal conversation down to concentrate on my body. I noticed how sore I was from my workout that day, noticed I had no more pain from Dewey running me over months ago, noticed the stress holder behind my shoulder blade needed a release. STRETCH, legs, feet, arms, back, abs.....

It was getting late. Time for bed. No computer, no tv, just bed.

must blog

2009-04-22T20:49:00.002-05:00

My horse got sick, my hard drive died, had to cut the front 40, had to cut the back 40, had to write the longest run on sentence ever.......

okay crappy excuses for no blog in awhile but I have one coming for real, yes I do, honestly.

My introduction to video

2009-04-15T21:03:00.005-05:00

I have been shooting video for fun at home for about a year or two. Nothing spectacular, just using a Sony Handycam. I rarely produce the video, just sort of leave it on the mini disc for future .....or well, I don't know, future archives?

When my friend Rupert suggested that I come out to shoot video for a story the paper is doing on him, his wife and autistic son, I brought it to the boss. I wanted ownership of this story in some way because I had been pitching it since October 2008. When the documentary about taking his family to see shamans in Mongolia was chosen for Sundance and then our own SXSW film fest, suddenly there was some interest. http://www.horseboymovie.com/

I have known Rupert and Kristin for awhile from their pre-kid days. I loved talking to Rupert because of his love and knowledge of horses. We would begin a horse discussion at a party and our spouses would drift away bored with our enthusiasm and subject matter.

I met Rowan, their son when he was two and not diagnosed with autism. He was a cute energetic boy then. Someone was always chasing him. After he was diagnosed, we lost touch until last year when I got his email from a mutual friend. I wanted to talk horses with him and found out so much more about what he and his family were up to.

Their story was written about in the NY Times http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/15/books/15horse.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

The Statesman will have a wonderful Pat Beach story coming out soon. I got to shoot the video. I shot 20 minutes of footage that I will need to whittle down to 2 minutes. I hope I can do it. The raw footage looked decent for a first try.

I got to the New Trails Center and there was no one in site. I pulled around back and met Christine who is Rowan's home school teacher and occupant to the house at the center. There were horses milling around the back and very soon a carload of children arrived ready to play with Rowan and have lessons on the horses. They played with the bunnies and goats, jumped on the trampoline and climbed the mulberry tree searching for ripe berries. I was getting good B-roll but also getting annoyed that the main interviews were not there yet.

Christine rounded up the horses, and got a student mounted. She needed to get the loose horses put away, but was having trouble with a newly gelded horse who was running around like crazy because he was separated from his friend. I helped her catch him and was walking him cross the paddock when the gang finally showed up. Must have been a sight to see me in my skirt and keds, walking a spirited horse across the paddock.

Finally I could get some footage with Rupert and Kristin. Unfortunately it was 5pm and I needed to get my kiddo from daycare by 6pm. I was 45 minutes away from town and it was rush hour. I would have to call the cavalry. My neighbor Karen came to the rescue, got Jake and took him to her house. No more distractions or outside responsibilities.

Got my interviews, Kristin's better than Rupert's because of the location, got footage of Rupert and Rowan riding and finished up. Rupert had been trying to instruct me on some horse moves via email so he told me to get my own camera and he would show me what he was talking about. I got another 20 min of video of him showing me how to teach my horse to bow and how to teach a horse the Spanish Walk. I thought that was a decent bonus and made up for them being so late.

Of course it made them late to whatever they had going on next, but I suspect life will be like that for them for awhile as they enjoy success from the movie and book.

I hope to volunteer at New Trails with Bailey and start teaching again. I am not sure where I will find the time, but I am sure Jake would love to play out there once in awhile. I'll post the video link when it is done, all 2 minutes of it.

Easter Weekend

2009-04-12T21:46:00.002-05:00

Why is it so hard to get into a groove of something you know you ought to be doing but cannot seem to get started. So many examples come to mind: cleaning the house regularly, flossing, eating right, hanging up what you have just taken off....my thing is church.

Religious holidays always remind me of this. I grew up Methodist. It was a great loving church with a kind minister and a friendly congregation. I felt at home there. I did Bible school in the summer, was active in youth group, sang in the choir when I had time and even felt comfortable enough to disagree with the pastor on the theme of a youth service. Clowns..yuck, I boycotted the service when I normally would have had a solo and been a strong presence in the service.

To tell the truth I miss church. THAT kind of church. I am not comfortable with the mega church my parents go to. I want hymnals not lyrics projected on the wall and a rock band.

I want structure. I want a sermon that means something to me. I want to shake the pastors hand as I leave and say, "thanks, that sermon spoke to me". I want my son to have a strong moral base learning the stories of the Bible from someone other than me.

So what is stopping me? Getting out of bed and dressed Sunday morning, going by myself is not really appealing, and then of course the search for a church that is close yet fits my comfort level.

I honesty feel hypocritical celebrating these religious holidays, Christmas included, with out a church service being a part of everything. We should have gone to church before brunch.

All in all, it was a swell weekend spent with friends, alas not blood family, as they are to far away. We shared our friend's family and they made of feel like one of them. Two Easter egg hunts, one pinata bashing (not very Christian to bash a bunny for candy), egg dying, cascarone breaking and a very grumpy child who no doubt OD'd on sugar made for a fun, busy weekend. I should have squished church in there somehow, but maybe with all the love and sharing that was happening, God (or whatever higher power you believe in) will forgive us. In my church growing up, he would have.

Zooma half marathon

2009-04-04T21:08:00.005-05:00

I think the Zooma was a success. It was well organized from the neighborhood's point of view. Cones, port o potties and water all out early. Relatively easy to get in and out of the 'hood.

We did not leave. I was up at 6:45 finishing up the muffins and getting the cooler filled up. The table and chairs were out by 7:30am. The house is about 250 feet from the street so it is not like we can just bound out the door and watch runners.

We gathered about 7:45 and shortly there after the first male runner came through. Since it was a woman's race, I decided to cheer him on but not take a pic. I hung my signs for Pam and Joshunda, hoping I would see them. I should have found the pro camera to make decent pics but it is really hard to hold that and a drink.

There were just a few of us, at first, cheering the runners. Then our crowd grew. The runners were fun, laughed at our mimosas, thanked us for coming out to cheer and wondered if we had any breakfast to spare. The horses were in rare form dancing and chasing around the pasture. One runner commented that they were a nice thing to watch to keep her mind off the nasty hill in front of our house.

Pam saw me and shouted out. I missed the pic but got her on the way up the hill. I got pics of Joshunda going down the hill and up the hill. She looked great in both. You would never know that the hill was so bad at the way Pam and Joshunda looked in the uphill pics. There was a man dressed as a woman, funny. All in all it was a big crowd. I really to think our cheering made a difference on the uphill part. We got lots of smiles and folks chatting back to us.

Good job Zooma! I hope the spa incentives we wonderful at the finish line and that everyone enjoyed running through our neck of the woods....er.. well.. hills.

The neighborhood inconvenience

2009-04-02T20:36:00.003-05:00

This Saturday we have a woman's half marathon coming through the neighborhood. It turns around in our neighborhood, so technically it comes through twice. Our comings and going are going to be impacted from 7am until 11am. We are a neighborhood of early risers, get things done kind of people, so I suspect this inconvenience may have made some folks angry.

We are also a neighborhood of opportunists. Since the run comes by our house twice, I suggested everyone come on over about 8am and we will cheer and have breakfast. We also don't miss too many opportunities to have a social nip here and there so I am thinking mimosas will be on the menu. Something decadent about drinking mimosas, eating muffins and watching folks run but what the hell!

My co-worker Pam is running. Her running pals ditched her so she is solo. I am going to make a sign for her, tell everyone about her and she is going to get the BEST cheering section. A neighbor is also running it. We will make her a sign too and she will get cheered. She may stop and have a drink though. Who could blame her? Our house is also on a killer hill so the runners will need that extra encouragement on the way up and out of the neighborhood.

I love the idea of the neighbors hanging out on the front lawn, the kids playing everywhere and runners going by, thinking our neighborhood would be so fun to live in. It really is the best.

Somehow this also reminds me of college. We had "wake-ups" where we would get doughnuts and beer, bring keg to a fraternity and wake up the house at 6am. Beer and doughnuts...mmmmmmm. Now that we have grown up, we are mimosas and pastries. Not too different. Then, we cheered for the drunk guys who decided to take their clothes off and run around naked....now we will cheer suitably dressed motivated runners. Seems more respectable somehow.

Bluebonnets!!

2009-03-31T09:50:00.006-05:00

Every Spring the great Texas tradition is to have photos made of your family, kids, friends, and pets in the beautiful blue (or purple as my kiddo has decided) fields of flowers. All along Texas highways you can see families hopping out of the family truckster and tip toeing to the perfect spot in the middle of the flowers. Usually someone has been before them so there is already an empty space where the flowers have been trampled for a picture. Not sure this is really the best approach to this tradition.

Making a pretty picture of your kid in the bluebonnets seems like a simple thing to do, plop them down, get them to smile and snappity snap!

The reality is more like bribe the child to sit into the middle of the flowers where there are certain to be fire ants or bees. Having found a bug free spot, you need to then tell you child, if they are old enough to understand you, not to pick the flowers or not to eat them if they are under two. The child is now wondering why he is sitting there in the middle of itchy flowers with mom and dad trying to make him smile.

As a photographer and a mother, I have learned that patience is key, yet you have to be ready for that instant when a smile appears. Miss it and mom and dad are annoyed that they have to keep trying to make Mr.Fussypants laugh or smile. Of course they are keeping a brave face for you, the photographer, because they do not want you to know that their child is anything but lovely, smart and happy all the time.

I take my own shots of my kiddo. I also let him take some of me. He shot a good one last year! We trade and it makes him feel like it is a game for both of us. Since digital cameras are so small, easy to use and have tons of memory, there really is no such thing as a wasted picture. Remember that sometimes the "no smile" pics are cute too. Have them try a silly face. Be a clown. Be a princess. Use your surprise face! All fun for little ones to try. I try to get him closer to me so I can actually see his face, then I can fill the frame with flowers.

My other tricks include not going to the side of the highway. It is dangerous: traffic, snakes, fire ants. Look around neighborhoods and parks. The Wildflower Center has a designated spot to help you out. I also heard that the Mueller Development has some lovely areas.

My neighborhood has a bunch blooming along the easements. I can frame the shot so they look endless. You can alway plant your own patch as well but think ahead. Plant this Fall for possible blooms in Spring. I have found that the second year is usually better.

As for a diversions...yes, bring bribes, bubbles work will too or a ball to toss. Anything to keep those little eyes up.

My job future

2009-03-25T18:45:00.004-05:00

All the newspaper closings and layoffs have left everyone in the industry nervous and on edge. I have to say, me included. I AM usually the optimist. I am going to continue to do my job the best I can and not be sad about the veterans who all took the early retirement. Their last day was yesterday.

I can't help but wonder if I need a plan B away from journalism.

I know it will not be teaching, Texas is flooded with teachers now that folks have lost jobs. Teaching what they know (or don't know) seems the most obvious. The medical field needs folks but I don't think I am cut out for that.

Would I want a job that ties in with something I love doing? That is what I did with photography. Sometimes my job takes away from my love of the craft. Something I did not expect and that I am not crazy about. I have become a jaded somewhat and at times fail to appreciate the beauty of the art of photography. Teaching at UT helped me get some of that passion back.

I love to bake. If I go to culinary school to become a pastry chef, will I continue to love to bake or will it become a chore? I love to garden. If I get a degree in landscape design or horticulture, will my garden become an evolving thing of beauty or an overgrown mass of weeds? Career with horses? Mine would be neglected and horse people either have tons of money or none.

I wonder if I should learn a trade. A plumber or electrician? They do some nasty dirty work but get paid well and will always be in demand. I don't even know how to go about becoming skilled in a trade.

The hospitality industry seems like a good fit for me. I love making people happy and feel welcome. The pay is less than desirable though especially when you consider the fact that you have to work weekends.

Speech therapy sounds fulfilling but I don't have time for that much school. That also goes for most therapy where I could help folks get well.

For those who know me, I would love suggestions. I am sure there is somethink I have not thought of. Maybe I will not even need a plan B. I hope not. It has taken me 20 years to become good at what I do. I am much too impatient for that agian.

Rain, Blessed Rain

2009-03-12T13:14:00.003-05:00

It has been raining for the past 2 days here in Central Texas. We have needed it. And while it is 45 degrees and raining, miserable weather by some standards, I am happy to see it. I dumped about 2 inches from the horse feed buckets this morning. I got their blankets on last night so they are damp but toasty. I am sure they would like to be in the front pasture but that is closed in hopes that some grass will grow. I am tempted to go by some grass seed and put it down today, except that I have a sinus infection and feels like my head may explode at any moment.

I got some plants put in over the weekend so now they can have a nice drink and not get fried.

I am trying an orange tree and a lime tree. I have seen rather large citrus trees in the area. I planted ours near sprinkler heads and on the south side of the house. I am also going to put in a fig tree this weekend.

Our fruit tree totals will be this: 5 peach trees, 2 plum trees, 1 apricot, (not sure how many pecans survived the summer) one for sure, 1 pear tree, maybe 2 apple trees (again not sure if they survived the long hot summer, 1 fig, 1 orange tree, 1 lime tree and then 2 lemon trees in pots and one lime tree in a pot. I want kiddo to be able to pick fresh fruit as he grows up. The orange tree is right outside my office window. I am looking at it along with the sandbox, roadrunners, and happy birds playing in the rain.

The Central Texas Bucket List

2009-03-10T09:06:00.003-05:00

When you live in Central Texas in the Austin area, there are certain things you MUST do before you leave or die (assuming you never leave Austin to live somewhere else). My short list includes:
1. Swim in Barton Springs
2. Go to the Capitol
3. Dance at the Broken Spoke
4. Eat at as many local, non restaurant chains as possible.
5. have a Mexican martini at the Cedar Door
6. See something at the Paramount
7. visit the UT campus (extra points if it is during a football game)
8. hike the greenbelt, especially when there is water flowing
9. See a live music show anywhere (too many places to select just one)
10.Hang out on South Congress, visit the shops and bask in coolness.

I crossed off #3 last week. I had a friend from way back visiting. In fact, he was my first prom date. I went to six proms over four years so that is how I can have a FIRST prom date. He wanted to go to the Broken Spoke to go dancing. I am one of those people who thinks I am a good dancer but really am not because I constantly try to lead when I am dancing with a partner. I am working on this.

Dale Watson was playing and the hubby was home so it seemed like a good opportunity to cross something off my list. We got there and paid the $5 cover (I should have paid the $8 cover so I could get a dancing lesson or two). Tim got us a couple beers and we got the lay of the land. The dance floor is long and rectangular. On either side, there are tables up a step, then up another step on each side there are more tables. A basketball player would have issues because the ceiling are very low where the table are. Maybe this encourages sitting and having a beer.

We watched the dancers spin in a counterclockwise motion around the dance floor. There were good dancers and not so good dancers. No one seemed to mind either way they were just happy enjoying the music. I am not going to describe the pain I put Tim through trying to dance with him. But I clearly needed to let go of my need to lead so I looked at the ceiling to try and feel want his body was telling me to do. I suggested he ask other women to dance while I watched.

An older gentleman asked me to dance. He was tall, had a grandpa belly and a kind face. I explained that I would love to but I was not very good. He showed me some steps off to the side and worked with me until I got the rhythm. Then we tried it on the dance floor. After several dances I got a little better. He held me firmly and guided me around the floor. Pressed against his belly, I felt surprisingly comfortable and went with him as we two stepped our way though the crowd. He was, in fact, a grandpa who was taking the night off from watching his grand kids who were the same age as my kiddo.

After a couple beers, I was ready to try and dance with Tim again. He didn't give up on me and finally we had a good dance to a fast-ish song. It was so much fun and everyone was there to dance and listen to Dale Watson. We met a couple from Norway, a young woman from Australia and one from London.

I had to go to work the next morning so around midnight, I asked if he minded if we got going. I think he would have liked to stay but came with me just the same. I would like to go again some day and pay $3 extra for the dance lessons.

Blog about work? Never

2009-03-06T09:33:00.002-06:00

While I would love to blog about work as a means to vent, I have a few reason why I will not.

1. I really may regret something I type and publish

2. when someone with more clout than me reads what I write and publish, I may not have the opportunity write about work anymore because there will be no more work.

3. I just don't want to re-live the stress.

I really don't why they keep creating new cop and hospital shows when a newspaper would be great. What was the last one...Lou Grant? They could even make a good soap around a newspaper. Lots o drama. Maybe I'll go into script writing and that will be my project. The only problem is that I am queen of the unfinished project. My children's book started a few blogs ago being a prime example.

The Will is Strong but the Body is Weak

2009-02-27T08:51:00.002-06:00

I want to finish my children's story about the cleanly cockroach but I am so tired. I have been dealing with a bout of insomnia lately. I suspect it is due to the fact that newspapers are closing left and right and I am really not sure what my future holds in the biz. That and the fact that hubby has been on the road for over a week so I have house and kid duties solo.

I am not complaining but I really just would love to be home in the afternoon alone taking a long luxurious nap. The kind where the windows are open and the breeze is making the curtains blow gently. The kind where you wake up and then float gently beck to sleep. You sleep HARD and wake up not quite knowing where you are or what time of day it is. What a dream. what a dream.

Tonight kiddo is sleeping over at his best friend's house. This would be the perfect opportunity to go out with my girlfriends. Hubby is encouraging that. Honestly I just want to be home. I want to rest and I want to be home in case he needs to be picked up at 2am because he is inconsolable. It is not his first sleepover but it is the first one at this friend's house.

Too bad I do not have a personal chef, masseuse, manicurist and stylist. I would do a SPOIL ME night at home. I can be my own chef, manicurist and stylist. I am coming up short on masseuse though.

My version of a children's Book pt 1

2009-02-24T07:12:00.002-06:00

I came downstairs this morning and saw the muddy paw prints the dogs tracked in yesterday, some dishes in the sink, toys all over the playroom and thought it would be cool if someone would come in while I was sleeping and clean the house. Silently of course, so we would not wake up. That is when my idea for a children's book popped into my head.

The Cleanly Cockroaches

Henry with his mommy and daddy, a dog named Wuzzle and two cats named Tic and Tac. Henry loved all living creatures. He loved his pets. He loved with birds that sang outside his window in the morning. He loved the bunnies that ate his momma's garden. He even loved snakes and crawly things. But Henry's favorite things were BUGS. He never smushed a spider. He never stamped on ant hills.

One day Henry heard his mommy scream "ew!! A bug!!!!" Henry raced to the kitchen to see his mommy pointing at the floor. There on the floor was a palmetto bug, otherwise known as a cockroach. "Get it Henry!!" screamed his mommy. Henry moved quickly and trapped the bug under a glass and took it outside.

"Thank you," said a tiny voice.

Henry looked around but did not see anyone there.

"Down here! My name is Polly Palmetto and I want to thank you for not smashing me flat as a pancake. Now I can go back to my family," said Polly

Henry had never heard a bug talk but answered, "you're welcome"

"Maybe I can help you someday," said Polly.

"I don't see how. You are so small!" said Henry

"Ahh yes but I have a VERY large family and when we all work together, we can get almost anything done"

"Well be careful and don't let my mom see you in the house again. Daddy WOULD have smushed you if he was home."

"We'll be careful. Thanks for the warning. We'll only come around at night." said Polly as she scuttled away.

To be continued.............

A Weekend full of Gardening

2009-02-23T09:01:00.005-06:00

I adore busy weekends. They have to be be busy on my terms though. Okay, so I am selfish but I get things done.

It was beautiful so I decided to tackle some of the gardening. I got out my nifty tiller and decided just to till under several beds, whether they had perennials in them already or not. Only the strong survive!! I plan to get some old horse poop from the pasture and till that in next weekend. My goal is to get that clay transformed to beautiful soil.
I trimmed the roses, which is a bit late, but better later than scraggly. I left the climbers and super bloomers alone because they seem to do will without my help. Mrs. BR Cant has so many thorns anyway that I am sure she will take over the garage wall eventually. The wildlife love her, she protects them from Gatsby the killer golden.
The volunteer vitex by the front porch got a new home. I put in on the side of the driveway where an old mesquite fell down a couple years ago. As the vitex grows, it will help shield the horse trailer I plan to park at the end of the driveway. The neighborhood covenants say no trailers visible from the street and hubby is beginning to get irked that it is in the driveway behind the house. It does make it challenging to get the riding mower out.
I am finally getting the sand delivered tomorrow for kiddo's sandbox in the back. I did a dry stack of stones that we got from a neighbor's deconstructed patio and wall. I put heavy duty week block down and we'll put the sand on top of that. I suspect that will be my main project this coming weekend. As Kiddo gets older and tired of the sandbox, my 6X9 rectangle will make a wonderful kitchen garden! It is right next to the rain barrel too so watering will be easy.

I hope I get it done before my friend comes over with her kids for a play date! We could always saddle up Bailey and do pony rides. Next weekend, I will remember sunscreen.

Life with a 4 Year Old

2009-02-19T21:02:00.003-06:00

I post this blog from kiddo's bed because he insists that he is scared without me here. I know it is pure manipulation but the alternative is listening to him cry and whine for me at the top of the stairs for an hour before he finally conks out or I give in. This way, I know he will be out in about 10 minutes and I can go about my business.

This morning on the way to pre-school he was full of questions. Why are poo and pee disgusting? What are germs? What do they look like? What do kid germs look like? Are the green squiggly worms? What do grown up germs look like? Do angels have germs? What are angels made of? Why do they fly? Why do they like flying better than walking? Why can't they just drive a car? That is what I would rather do. And so it goes....I feel like I am a bad parent if I don't try to answer his questions. I am sure that if I had another kid I would tune them both out and be in my own world on a car trip...or I would be yelling at them to quit whatever it was they were up to.

It takes some concentration to navigate rush hour traffic and then more to answer the questions being fired at me from the brainiac in the back. I am so in need of quiet after I drop him off. I often ride to work in silence. The newsroom is also quiet at 8:30am. I need it.

Hey! No Hay.

2009-02-18T09:55:00.003-06:00

The drought has hit Central Texas pretty hard. HAving horses, this always freaks me out because I am worried about getting hay. My usual source (who is also the neighborhood source thanks to my big mouth) can't grow it because of the no rain issue. The feed stores are up to $9/bale (I remember when I was getting it in the field for $2.50/bale 5 years ago). There just does not seem to be affordable coastal horse hay anywhere. I bought 40 bales of tifton from a source who had to get rid of it because he is moving. The horses took a few days to get used to it but they are eating it now. They get alfalfa trucked in from New Mexico when I can get it. They only get that once a day. It costs $21-23/bale for a bale that is $110 pounds. I can make that last a week or so with the 3 horses.

They take longer eating the tifton so they are not eating the trees as much. That, in and of itself, is another issue. The horses strip the bark off the trees and then you lose your good shade trees. I want to shout at them, "Hey dummies! You are going to kill your shade and in the 104 degree weather you will be really sorry!" I strategically wrapped a bunch of them with chicken wire so the horses could not get to the bark. The wire is fairly invisible to the causal passerby. There are still the trees they will be killing but then I will have some firewood and a sunny area for more grass to grow in the front pasture.

They are banned from the front pasture now because the rye is starting to come up from the 2 days of damp weather we finally have had. It should last until May once it comes up if I am careful to keep them off it. When I think back to how much grass we had before the horses and how often I had to cut it, I can hardly believe that it is gone. Part of me wishes we had fenced the front yard so we would never have to mow that as well (that is about 250 yards square).

Such is residential farm life. I would not trade it for city condo life at all.

Sahil's Lessons

2009-02-17T09:20:00.003-06:00

I really would not say which one of us gets the most from the lessons, Sahil or me.

Sahil is an Arabian. Arabians have the reputation of being wild and high strung often choosing flight over fight. I have experienced the flight when the helicopter buzzed the facility where I have my lessons. Since then, I have had this in the back of my mind, worried that he would do it again over something I would not expect.

Here is the truth that I have learned since the fall. Sahil is not spooky. I walked him up to an open trash bin. Most horses would dance around it and pretend they thought the trash bin was going to eat them. Sahil walked up to it and put his head in it. Plastic grocery bags also freak out many horses when the blow in the wind and get stuck on trees. I led Sahil up to one and he sniffed it then picked it up in his teeth and shook it a bit. He is sweet, smart and curious.

So Sunday when I led him down to the neighbor's house for my lesson, I was not bothered by the wind picking up (it has been really windy my last 3 lessons). I was not worried by the 4 yr olds running along in front of us (kiddo and his best friend were along and Sahil wanted to run with them). I was not even concerned about all the horses along the way who wanted to greet Sahil (I let him have a little touchy feely nose time with them).

I DID have a problem with the Tyvec wrap that was blowing off the house under construction next door to my neighbor's round pen. It was so loud. Picture being on the beach with huge waves crashing constantly on the shore. I thought for sure Sahil was going to freak.

As it turned out, I was the only one worried. He could not have cared less. He was more concerned with what the other horses were doing in the pasture. We kept him busy and thinking during the lesson and he was fine. We trotted and did well. The confidence in each other is building. He is going to be a wonderful horse to trail ride on. His movement is smooth and elegant so he will also be good in the dressage arena. Not bad for an ugly little runty throw away. He is truly the ugly duckling that has turned in to a swan.

creationsim vs. evolution

2009-02-16T19:13:00.003-06:00

I know creationists must have an answer for this but the question I have always wanted to ask is "How do we know a Genesis day is the same time as a B.C. day or a A.D. day or what? Why couldn't a Genesis day have been 10,000 years or such?"

If you thought outside the box a bit and understand that the Bible is a collection of stories told to someone, think how many mistakes there can be! How many interpretations of the story told to them. It all depends on the interpreter's view.

The other day I said "Nell is wearing my cleverly patched shirt that the dog ripped last week, while trying to eat the cat."

Now what I meant was that the dog was trying to eat the cat, not me. But the way it was said left some question over who was trying to eat the cat.

For that matter, how many times has a woman said something to a man that was completely misinterpreted or vise versa? If God is a woman, and the Bible was written my men...well you get my drift.

All in the matter of interpretation. I, for one, believe that Adam and Eve came after the dinosaurs. I still think of myself as a Christian.

Anyone else have a take on this?

Oooohhh the Light!

2009-02-14T21:15:00.006-06:00

The sunrise is one of the simple pleasures I enjoy in the morning. I try to wait to feed the horses until the sun is rising so I can see the sunrise. My favorite ones are when the clouds turn pink and are rimmed with gray. I try to remember my art history education to think which painter painted these sorts of clouds. Then I try to identify how many colors I actually see instead of what common sense tells me I should be seeing. I do this with kiddo too. I ask him to name every color he sees during a sunrise or sunset. I try very hard not to negate anything he says. it is subjective and I want him to see what he sees.

We see the sunset from the front porch. Sometimes it looks better from the bedroom because we can see over the tree tops. I love right before the sun sinks in the horizon. The light is golden and it filters through the trees in shimmery beams. I can see the light dancing off the wings of the insects buzzing in the pasture. The horses are rimmed in the light as they lazily swish their tails at the flies. I want to play in this light. I want to capture it in a photo. I want to hold onto those moments in that light that bring me such peace. As the sun disappears, the sky turns orangey red. It is almost angry compared to the sweet, golden light from just moments before. I still love the intense color and the way the blue sky become purple peaking through the magenta clouds.

Late at night the stars are thick in the sky. There is not much light pollution so we can sit in the Adirondack chairs on the front lawn with a drink and just stare at the sky. Sometimes I am treated to a shooting star. I feel lucky those nights.

VALENTINE'S DAY

2009-02-14T16:50:00.004-06:00

My colleagues are complaining about how much they HATE Valentine's Day. Too much pressure whether you are married, involved or not.

Back in the day, I used to go all out. I made hubby hand painted heart boxers, cookies, and got a card or two. This was before we were married. After we got married, it was a baked something special and a card or two. He used to get me flowers. He even sent me flowers when I was in Norway working the winter Olympics. All the men hated him. After we moved into the house, I asked him to give me live roses that I could plant in the garden. He did this for a few years and then seemed to forget about it.

This year I had time to do something nice for him. I made cookies Thursday for kiddo's class and made two HUGE cookies for the guys. I got hubby a couple of cards, almond clusters and a chocolate mixer to make chocolate martinis.

I honestly was worried that I would be disappointed but I was not. They guys let me sleep in. I didn't even know kiddo was up. They made breakfast for me and brought it up to me in be complete with a rose on the tray. Very sweet. Kiddo wanted to hang out and eat with me while we watched his TV shows.

No matter what your relationship status is, I think Valentine's Day should be important. It should be the day you remember to tell someone you love them. How nice would it be if we heard that from our friends, and family more often? I don't do it enough, I know. Why is it so hard? We should just give love without expecting it in return. It will come. We need to get over our fear of rejection. I believe that you get what you give. To quote Todd Rundgren, "Love is the answer". Listen to that song if you have not heard it. Very wise.

The Depressed Mall

2009-02-12T17:42:00.002-06:00

I went to the mall today. Now those who do not know me may say "Big deal, everyone goes to the mall."

I don't.

I do not like to shop, much less in a mall. I get claustrophobic among all that consumerism. So why did I go today? I was having my car workd on and the garage is right by the mall. So rather than sit in the waiting room with the 5 very angry looking people there, I headed over to the mall to see what I have been missing.

I walked in a non-anchor store entrance, passed two photo studios and a nail salon. I briefly though of getting a manicure but the idea of a mall manicure did not seem hygenic for some reason. I eased myself in to shopping by going into Macy's. I feel comfortable there. I worked at Macy's in high school and college when it was Bamberger's.

There were sales everywhere. Not that I need anything but all the sales made me think I should need something. I bought two mock turtlenecks for $6 each and felt good about that. I always need a good turtleneck (I am beginning to become Diane Keaton. She always wears turtlenecks). I did not go into the men's dept. Hubby likes to buy his own clothes and I never seem to get it right. Passed on the boy's dept. too. The in-laws buy kiddo the cutest clothes. Why should I shell out the bucks?

Bored, I headed out into the depths of malldom. I looked at the stores but could not see any reason to go inside. The kiosk vendors varied from looking hopeful to bored. I also could not see a need for any of their products. Feeling very old lady-ish, I went into Hallmark. Got some Valentine's stuff for hubby and found a sale rack with cool stuff. I got some neat Christmas gifts that I will stow away.

I walked the whole mall. There were stores that had closed, stores that were going out of business and ones that were empty except salespeople trying very hard to look busy. I am happy they have jobs and I hope they can keep them. I just cannot find any reason to even walk into 90% of those stores. When I was a teenager, I did. My love affair with the mall died sometime in my twenties.

Luckily the car was done in just over an hour. I picked it up and happily drove home to play outside.

Jake says....

2009-02-11T15:30:00.002-06:00

Some gems from my son's mouth last year.....

Jake has decided that there is another side to Santa. “I want Santa to take my bed.” “I want Santa to take my shirts with snaps, sweaters and jackets.” What will Santa do with Jake’s things? Who knows.

Oma brought Jake 101 Dalmations, the original animated version. It has quickly become a favorite. We get requests daily to watch “the domination puppies”.

“Mommy I don’t like you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I only like you on Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays.” Jake was mad at me because I didn’t bring him a treat after school.

Jake has learned to use the potty. He was in the bathroom a long time last night so when Daddy went to check on him he said "You need to do me some privacy."

One cold morning Jake wanted to wear shorts. Dad explained that he needed to wear long pants or he would freeze his patootie off. Jake won the battle and when Mom picked him up from day care, he proudly announced ‘Look Mom, I still have my patootie!”

Drawing letters with Daddy, Jake decides that an H is a straight A.

Mommy how do you “smell” the word XXXX? I keep telling him it is SMELL

Imaginary friends are Friendship, Fabio and Hardboil. More friends come later Heart and Pinefapple. I think Friendship is his favorite.

5/29 Riding into school this morning Jake sees a man on a motorcycle all decked out in leather, goatee, grizzled face and says “Look mom, a pirate on a motorcycle!”

“I don’t know Jake”
“Ya gotta know!”
“NO I don’t!”
“No, Tell ME now!”

Trying to find a park for a playdate Jake says “I know where it is. I am 4, I know everything.”

After making a fuss about coming with mommy to early vote, Jake decides he likes it as we leave he says “ Mommy, I’m sad.” “ Why, honey?” “ I am sad because we are done voting.” This drew a chuckle from a passerby.

Jake’s birthday we decided to have 2 parties, a friend party and a family party on the real day. Friday night before the party, he is misbehaving so we discuss the possibility with him of being good or canceling the party. He thinks about it for a minute and says “ I want to be bad and we can cancel the family party.”

Hot lava = “Hotverlava”

“Daddy, What is a Barack Obama?”

Intramatic = automatic

Dyna coke = diet coke

Daddy was talking to a woman friend on his cell. Jake heard a woman’s voice and sad “I wanna talk to momma!” Daddy went on talking and Jake repeated himself louder. Daddy told him it was not momma on the phone. Jake said under his breath but loud enough for Daddy to hear “Stupid old Daddy”

Co-pilot = go-pilot

I can't wait to see what 2009 brings.

My Ipod

2009-02-11T09:28:00.004-06:00

This morning driving into work, I noticed my Ipod had a theme going. I have no idea how the "shuffle" feature works but sometimes it does seem to have a common thread. Some days it is classical guitar, other days it plays songs that remind me of one person, today the theme was weather, nature or something like that.

The first tune I settled on was Shotgun Down the Avalanche, by Shawn Colvin. I love this song. It is angry, resigned and real, using nature as the metaphor. Then came a song about the seasons from XTC. El Paso from The Gourds and they talk about a tornado out on the desert. I was hoping for Over the Waterfall by Robert Earl Keen but I didn't get it. I got into work first.

I still am curious how shuffle does work. Maybe it is because you have chosen all your songs so you can find a theme in anything, however, about 1/3 of my tunes were lifted from a friend so I could fill up my tunes list quickly. U2 was dominating the other day and I realized that I have outgrown many of their songs. I also had to get over my guilt of deleting some Johnny Cash songs. I kept them for so long because he is a classic but I just do not like very much of his music. It sounds the same to me.

I am now unapologetically downloading my faves from the 70's.

Simplify

2009-02-05T20:10:00.002-06:00

I've been contemplating getting rid of things and making money at the same time. I have tons of kiddo's old things that we bought with the idea of being able to re-sell it. When i brought it up with hubby though, he though it would be best just to give it away to someone in need.

I'll admit, I have done that with many of kiddo's old clothes. Our housekeeper takes them to Mexico and I feel like they are getting another chance to make someone happy. BUT the idea of making a little extra money for a rainy day appeals to my frugality.

The big choice is Craig's List or Ebay? I have been thinking that Craig's list may be best for large items and Ebay for the small. I really have no desire to ship a pac 'n play to Ohio. Friends have been giving me strategies for selling clothes. They say to sell in lots with some designer stuff included s bait. Kiddo certainly has plenty of that that he has outgrown.

I think I can organize this in a weekend. It seems to be much easier than a garage sale. That would take me weeks to get things together.

Now how about those things in closets that I have not used in a year or so.........

25 Random Things

2009-02-02T20:37:00.006-06:00

So Facebook has the thing going around now bout 25 Random Things about yourself. I did mine in a bit of a rush while at work and then improved upon them at home later. Since then, I keep thinking of other random things I should have put down that most people would not know.

1. My name and middle name are a combo of my grandmothers' middle names

2. I spent 2 weeks in Moscow and Leningrad in College, rooming with our Russian guide.

3. I was in a Big Audio Dynamite video

4. After I spent 2 days photographing the Soap Opera bus tour in Washington DC who were visiting the White House, All My Children soon after created a photographer character named Nell.

5. I have been riding off and one since I was in college but owned my first horse when I was 34.

6. I like fruity beers

7. have fallen off the same horse more than 20 times.

8. drove myself to the hospital in a truck with manual transmission with a separated shoulder.

9. had to have my ears re-pierced because they ripped the first time while taking off a sweater.

10. only kissed my first boyfriend 3 years after he was my boyfriend.

11. heard a ghost or a spirit when I was 11 say "I love you, Nell". I was wide awake and thought it was my dad.

12. used to play archeologist in our yard which was a dump for a 19th century mansion.

13. used to sunbathe on the garage roof, the only place that had any sun at our house.

14. tried to nurse many baby squirrels into adulthood as a kid. We had quite the cemetery in the woods.

15. wanted to try out for cheerleading but did not think I was pretty or thin enough.

16. played field hockey but hated running so I got an after school job instead.

17. learned how to drive stick shift in an orange mustang.

18. I find hockey thugs attractive

19. I have been asked out by a pro baseball player. I said no.

20. was the co-lead singer in a high school rock band

21. cannot watch bloody horror flicks, or bloody action flicks but used to be the one to pick gravel out of legs after bike falls.

22. do not ever want to move from my current home

23. want to paint my truck pale, the very palest of pale, pink.

24. want to learn to play the drums.

25. miss old fashioned photography, developing etc.

SLow Blogging

2009-01-30T09:28:00.003-06:00

The New York Times had an item a few months ago about slow blogging. The premise was that to blog, you need not blog every day, just when you felt you had something to say. I would like to use that as an excuse for not blogging lately but I simply have been swamped at home and at work. Blogging, for me, can be anything from a good story to verbal ramble about nothing, like a Seinfeld episode. Thus the variety here. I will try to improve the frequency.

So what has been going on since the New Year arrived.....

My horse are all home but I have spent very little time riding them. This causes immense guilt because I have wonderful horses that need to be ridden so they can improve. One weekend it is the weather, one weekend no baby sitter, the next weekend I am sick. This weekend I AM riding MY horse in the neighborhood. I need to get over the issues lingering from the big FALL last summer. My back is still a bit sore but with stretching and working out is slowly improving. The guilt needs to go away too. I just wonder why I am spending all this money on the horses when I am not riding them. I love them. I love having them at home but they need to be more than yard art.

Kiddo and I got sick last week and were out from day care/work just about a week. I should have stayed home on inauguration day but really, how could I? It was an important day and I wanted to spend it at the paper, where I would be allowed to watch it on TV.
This turned out to be a wise move because the next three days I was held hostage to the pre-school cable channel Noggin. I love it, but not solidly for 3 days. It was the only was to get kiddo to be still. When medicated, he felt great and tried to bounce all over the place. As soon as it wore off, he crashed and it was obvious how sick he was. It took us five days to return to normal, although he is still coughing. Now the rest of my department at work has it. We had three out sick the other day. Basically, 1/3 of the staff.

Speaking of work, we are apparently the last of the papers our size to offer early retirement packages. We have staved off layoffs and such but the request for early retirements has finally come. We will see who might take it. We are not sold yet but there have been interested parties touring. There is an uneasy mood around the newsroom but I am trying to remain optimistic that we will have a future. I cannot imagine a world without a local news source. I really do not consider TV news journalism. Who will be the watch dogs? Why doesn't the public care about this? If they read news online, don't they realize where that information comes from? Without journalist we will become a nation of gossips and rumor mongers.

New Year's Eve at Gruene Hall

2009-01-02T10:35:00.005-06:00

I was freaked out because husband heard from Robert Earl Keen's road manager that the Hall had sold 800 tickets to the Toni Price/REK show. There is no way they could fit all those folks in there and I certainly did not want to be smushed in with them as well.

Scooted out of work at 5pm and hauled butt home. Did some quick wardrobe modification and fed the horses. I turned the water on to fill the trough. Husband and kiddo got home and we got things together for kiddo's sleepover at his buddy's house. Husband changed. I turned off the water and discovered a dead squirrel. I fished him out with the rake and filled up buckets with alternative water, trying to decide if the horses would drink water that had a dead squirrel in it for less than 12 hours.

Got kiddo to friend's house, he did not even show any signs of missing us. We went across the street to meet the cool, fun neighbors (here after referred to as CFN's).
They drove and decided we girls would be the non drunks in the group tonight. We fretted about how crowded it was going to be, fretted about parking and getting into the restaurant.

When we got to Gruene, we got a great parking spot, waited just 10 minutes to eat and made it in to the show before Toni Price stopped playing. We milled around the Hall enjoying her set. She is a big voice for such a little person. Soulful. After her set, some folks vacated the benches that run along the side of the hall. These are great for standing on because it puts you up so you can see the act and no one bumps you. The husbands stood in front of us. There was a hole that opened up a bit in the front and Husband stepped in and beckoned for us to join him. Nope. I was not giving up my "no push" spot on the bench.

The long and short of it was Robert Earl Keen had a great show. played some old favorites and some surprises including the Dylan classic "All Along the Watchtower". Husband scored some back stage passes and got one for me. As the band began "Road Goes on Forever" I scooted back to hang out. They came off, then went back for the encore. I stood there watching Tom the drummer play and Toni Price wandered over trying to see Rich Brotherton. I told her to scoot in front of me since I was watching Tom and she is MUCH shorter than me! After the show Husband introduced me to Tom and he was very nice.

We had a great time. Went back out to connect with the RCN's. It was not yet midnight. We celebrated New Year's eve at 11pm (east coast New Year's) because the Hall had to be emptied at midnight because it was a week night town ordinance. To our surprise and delight, the roads were empty on the ride home because everyone was still out partying. It was a good night.

Getting Dressed and Silly Things

2008-12-30T17:20:00.002-06:00

Ever have one of those mornings when you feel you have it all together but you really do not?
I woke up at 6am, fed the horses, got the guys going and went up to have a shower. I knew what I was going to wear to work that day. I put on a pick shirt, cute wool jumper (not the English variety jumper or sweater but the dress variety) and black tights.

The black tights were hanging a little low. The crotch was not going where it needed to go. Probably due to holiday weight gain and improper laundering but I needed a solution. A girdle! Well today more commonly known as the brand Spanx. That would hold up the tights and hold in my tummy. Good solution.

I grabbed them from the drawer and pulled them on. Went down for breakfast.

Kiddo and I went to school. The Spanx felt funny, bunching and falling down in the back. Were the tights that small that they were pulling them down? I dropped kiddo off , drove to work and went to my morning meeting still trying to tug the undergarments into place without attracting too much attention. I sat in the meeting feeling like I was sitting on more of my dress than I should be. What is going on?

After the meeting I heading for the ladies room to investigate. Peeling off layers revealed that I had in fact put on padded bike shorts NOT a girdle. Not wonder my butt felt poofy, no wonder they kept falling down.

Laughing I took them off, settled for a saggy crotch and went on with the day vowing to pay more attention to what I am actually putting on in the morning.

Parenting Faux Pas and other tales of the season

2008-12-23T11:36:00.002-06:00

Christmas snuck up on us this year. Here we were finishing up Thanksgiving leftovers and Christmas let itself in the back door. I was doing all right with the shopping. We decorated in time for our neighborhood cocktail party. Got the tree and decorated it as well. Somewhere an extra week just disappeared.

What happened? Was it in the middle of my several rushed Christmas card shoots? Was it while husband was gone on assignment? Was it while kiddo was being spoiled rotten in NYC with the grandparents? I really have no idea.

No cards were sent this year. No cookies were baked this year. The packages that made it to holiday destinations were lucky. Everyone else gets a New Year's gift.

It is 2 days until Christmas. Kiddo is being an absolute pill. He does not want to get dressed, go to school, wear this shirt, eat breakfast.....

He wants to wrap gifts, put them under the tree, play with his Christmas train, make cookies, eat cookies, have hot chocolate with marshmallows. Can't say that I blame him, I would like to do all that too.

He wants Daddy home. Yeah, so do I. He wants Oma and Opa because they are not mean to him like Momma is. ( I am mean because I won't let him stay in his PJ's all day).

In my own frustration, I have become a terrible parent. He has cookies for breakfast, I bribe him to get in the car by promising him a donut (he also has to promise to be good until Christmas). I don't have the time to spend with him that I need. As he hesitated to go into class this am, I had to call work to tell them I would be late. I sat in the hallway of daycare, holding kiddo until he was ready to go into class. I know he wants attention and us to share in his holiday excitement. I want to as well. I think this may be a lesson to me that I should at least take off Christmas eve in the future.

My how time flies

2008-12-20T21:57:00.003-06:00

So it seems like just yesterday I swore I would blog. I wanted to, I intended to, I dreamed I did....clearly I did not.

The holidays snuck up on me. I thought I was doing well by having the house all put together and presents mostly bought. Here it is 5 days before Christmas and we have not done cards, we'll blame it on the economy. I still have to send random gifts to folks. I have not shopped for hubby's best friend, why would I you may ask? He never has time so I usually pick something out for her. He is out to dry this year. I just do not have time.

The kiddo has been in NYC since last Tuesday. His Oma came down and got him. They have been having a ball going to see Christmas windows in the city, Macy's Santaland (he did not want to see Santa after all). He went to Opa's office party, the train shop and the Toy Museum with Opa. Best of all, I think, was that he got to see snow. I think it should be a tradition for him to visit them around Christmas time as well as during the summer. I like that he is independent enough to go somewhere without Momma or Daddy.

Meanwhile, hubby and I have been going out with friends, shopping, going to the gym whenever we want and sleeping without interruption. We had the neighborhood wine and cheese party at our house last night. That was fun. About 50 people showed up and much wine was consumed. Our house, with the addition, has nice party flow. Folks didn't even go out onto the porch or screen porch even though it was warm out. We let the dogs visit for a bit and most everyone loved them. I was relaxed but not drunk when I fell asleep. Good thing because I had a shoot this am.

I have had about 4 shoots this season. I really need to send out promotional reminders and I could have each weekend scheduled well. NOTE TO SELF: PROMOTE!

Too busy to BLOG

2008-12-11T22:07:00.001-06:00

Been busy. teaching, newspaper, family, holidays are consuming my life. It is 10:08pm and I have not had dinner yet. Most likely will not. Will blog tomorrow. really.

Joe Ely Show

2008-12-02T09:42:00.003-06:00

Saturday we were invited to go see Joe Ely at the local luxury hotel down the street. The show was free for guests and folks from outside had to pay a cover. It was not really advertised so we figured it would be a nice small show to go see.

We left the house at 7;05 for the 7:30 show. Neighbor David dropped us at the front door and went to park. We walked in the front door to the lobby and who should be standing there looking a bit lost was JOE ELY!

I said "Hey! Ready for a show?"

"Yes except I don't know where it is." he replied.

"Well just hop in our car and we'll take you to our house a couple miles down the road and we can have the show there!"

He laughed and suggested a room show at the hotel. We all laughed and then his golf cart arrived with the band ready to take him to the show. We followed on foot, paid our money, found seats in the sixth row and sent the boys to get the drinks.

There were a zillion little kids there having as much fun as the grown-ups. He played a nice 2 hour show. We had more drinks at the hotel and went home to get kiddo from the neighbor. I wish I had taken the opportunity to get a pic with him when we had him in the lobby. rats.

The Great Monsturkey!

2008-11-28T12:35:00.005-06:00

I must say first of all that I am thankful that husband bought the Big Green Egg and that I never complained about how much it cost. That being said I will now sing the ballad of the Carroll Thanksgiving.

aahh hemm (throat clearing)

Okay maybe not sing.. maybe I'll just write it.

I baked Wednesday night until about 1am. Apple Cake from a New York Times recipe. A pecan pie from Southern Living cookbook. Pecan pies make me nervous because my mom always made them so well. My first pecan pie ended up a huge mess in the oven because it had not cooked all the way and I took it out too quickly. SLOSH a sugary mess all over the hot oven. I have gotten better since. One year I made a chocolate pecan pie that was very sinful. But Wednesday night, I just made a down and dirty quick, normal pecan pie.

I woke husband up at 1am when I was finished so he could light the smoker and dress the turkey. All 27 pounds of it.

Since I am going to get teased for years about the size of this, I should explain that when I went to pick up my organic, newly dead, medium sized turkey last Saturday, the farm had run out of mediums. I told them I would be happy to settle for a small. We could fill up on sides. No smalls left. OH-KAY? Kim Alexander, in his matter of fact way, talked me into at large. He assured me it would fit in the smoker. He weighed it - 27.2 pounds. Kiddo weights 12 more pounds than the turkey.

Husband got the turkey on at 4am and went back to sleep. I woke up at 6:30 am, checked the smoker temp, got kiddo some milk and went back to bed. Husband was not in bed. He had gotten up to also check on the monsturkey.

I went for a walk, then he went for a run. While he was gone I put together the stuffing, while I was gone, he put together the sweet potatoes. By 12:30 we were ready to simply pop the food in the oven and go.

Then the power went out. We called the neighbors who were coming to eat with us. Their power was out as well but she had made her sides already (mostly). My other neighbor called. Her turkey was in the oven. She was drinking wine, waiting for the power to come back on. I invited her over if we didn't get power, figuring our monsturkey could feed the neighborhood.

About 2:15 the lights popped on. I turned on the oven. Threw in the stuffing and the sweet potatoes and got the water boiling for mashed potatoes. We were in business. I had secretly been hoping the power would not go on because I had visions of just noshing on turkey, bean salad from the neighbors and desserts.

Everyone came over. We prepared the rest of the dinner together. That was fun. Everyone had a job to do and we laughed and talked just like family. Kiddo had to use 2 hands to pick up his drumstick. We laughed quite a bit at that. We all ate way too much and had no room for dessert. We ate that later. We had a nice day and thanks to the Big Green Egg, a wonderful turkey. Anyone for leftovers? We'll be eating it until Christmas.

Smoking, Driving with a Rant

2008-11-24T19:37:00.002-06:00

Okay Mr. Nissan Maxima who would not let me pass this morning on my way to work. I appreciate how you like to smoke on your way into work, but I do not. I cannot get away from your smoke as it filters in through my AC. Did you happen to notice that area along the road that was burnt to a crisp recently? Have you noticed that we have not had rain in the last month or so? Whatever would possess you to toss your still ignited butt out the window without a care in the world. The way your hand flicked the butt out the sliver in the window as it obviously had many time before. I watched the lit butt, glowing orange, throwing sparks as it hit the air. It bounced on the pavement and perhaps was driven over to be put out but maybe not. I honestly wish people would think about what happens when they throw lit butts out the window.

This morning was smokier than most, no sooner would I get away from one smoker, when I would be passed or pass another. I seemed to be surrounded in the morning commute by smokers. It would not be bad if it not come through the air conditioning, even it I have it on recycle interior air, it stills seems to worm its way into the car. If the but gets tossed at a light, and you happen to stop on it unknowingly? forget it, the smell is there the rest of the day.

I stil suspect that a pissed of mechanic worked on my truck and hid a butt in the engine somewhere. My truck smells like stale cigarette smoke at times and no one that I know who smokes has been in it.

Maybe my truck is haunted by the Marlboro Man.

Funky night things

2008-11-20T09:17:00.005-06:00

The full moon the other night was beautiful but still more beautiful was the way it bounced off the clouds. I only had my point and shoot with me to capture it. I balanced the camera carefully on the roof of the car, held my breath and pressed the button. While it is grainy, I captured basically what I was seeing. I think I could have sat in an Adirondack chair on the front lawn and just watched the clouds moving for hours. Not possible in my world yet, but someday.

Then last night as I let the dogs in, I saw this brown blob moving across the front step on the porch. I saw it as I closed the door but then opened the door again to get a closer look. From far away, it looked like a moth or butterfly had a spider stuck to the back of its wing. On closer inspection, I saw that the back of the wing looked shredded. I am not sure if it supposed to be that way or not. Oh to have an entomologist at my disposal.

Holiday Photos

2008-11-18T12:01:00.003-06:00

I decided that ripping on intern prospects more was not good karma so no more of that.

Fall is when folks start calling me for holiday portraits. I really love doing these. It gives me a chance to meet up with folks I see once a year. Although now I wonder why we see each other just once a year. I am going to have play dates with some of my clients and their kids this year.

Patience is key when doing family and kid portraits. Making toddlers do anything is like herding cats. You just need to let it flow. Get them started in an activity and then they forget they are being photographed. Bubbles are a favorite with me. Parents try to get their kids to smile, pose etc but that just makes kids grumpier. I also know that children usually last 30 min to an our for a shoot.

I know I should be charging more. I have gradually increased my rates. I will raise them next year but I think folks will understand. I make beautiful pictures and am worth it!

Intern Letters

2008-11-13T11:20:00.005-06:00

We have a paid internship at the paper for a photographer. We are splitting up the portfolios and choosing the best of the 10 or so we are reviewing.

I made the mistake of actually reading the cover letters and autobiographies. Why they were asked (or maybe not asked) to sent an autobiography, I will never know. I am sure it must have said a SHORT autobiography. After all, when you are just out of college or about to be, how could you even have a long biography?

Here are some excerpts from some of them.

"Photojournalism requires passion (sometimes just talent). It is a challenging profession that demands nothing but the best from every assignment with constant critique and editing (which will get you defensive and pissed off). Workdays are long and often start and end when the rest of the town is asleep. (where did you work?) The stories that are told pull at your heartstrings causing an array of emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, elation, love, grief and hope. (until you get burnt out and really just to get some time off) It can be physically taxing balancing heavy equipment while lying in awkward positions to get the best angles and the best shots. (what?) Assignments can be dangerous, uncomfortable and dirty. I've only had a taste of this as a student, and I want more." (no really, if you want more of that you should become a cop)

" The INSERT PAPER NAME HERE'S commitment to excellence in journalism,the reputation of its photography/video department and the unrivaled work (we have no competitor) your publication produces are the reasons I want to work in your newsroom."

couple of paragraphs about experience here.

" Whether it's the compelling visual journalism of the photography and video department or the cutting edge multimedia projects for the website, The INSERT PAPER NAME HERE is doing the type of journalism I want to be a part of."

I know B.S. when I read it. REALLY.

More later when my eyes relax from all the rolling.

Burbling Stream of Thought

2008-11-11T22:11:00.003-06:00

7am leave the house deliver the rest of the food drive flyers in my section. Stop at gas station to get a doughnut for kiddo because he got in the car on time this morning. Make good time to daycare. Back on the road at 7:50 to go into work, but the road is already crowded with veteran's day parade traffic.

work, work, work

Hour of P.T. stretching with Suzy. Pushed, pulled in an attempt to loosen up. I guess yoga would help but who has time? I love what she does and made another appt. for this Friday to work on the upper body. Goal? Loosen up so I can ride in comfort. Get rid of all the sore muscles from the accident.

Get to class and am thankful for the leftover salad in the journalism office. Ignore the pizza and make a big plate of salad. I sit on the floor in the hall outside of the classroom with one of my students eating my salad. The rest of the class shows up but the class before is not done yet. We hang out and talk. Class goes well. We end a bit early and I have 6 stragglers who want to stay and talk and hang out. These kids are great. They make me smile. I am glad that I have this class as my last.

Get to Central Market to meet Katie, Will and kiddo. Chat a bit and hit the road.

Got to bake a cake for the work bake sale. Apple cake. I remember this in the morning and pray that I remember it again when we get home. I do, but I am not sure if we have all the ingredients. I found everything, good. Plop kiddo in front of Noggin and get crackin. Cake in oven. Good.

Kiddo takes a quick bath, talks to Daddy on speaker phone in the tub. Then wants to hang out in our bed for awhile. We play. I finally get him to bed, put on Al Stewart for him (or me) and hang some more with him in his bed.

Back downstairs to get cake out of the oven. I decide not to make cookies too. Too much. Was I overscheduled as a child? Is this a carry over? Or do I just like to keep this insane pace. I am going to crawl into bed now.

Another Trip to Home Depot

2008-11-10T17:19:00.002-06:00

I must admit, I am going to be very happy when Lowe's opens near our house. I liked it even before my dad worked there. I always find what I need and staff is easier to find as well. I suspect that McCoy's is going to go out of business with it being next door but maybe the builders will keep going there.

So the other day I noticed our toilet seat was coming off. It was broken from where it swings up and down. I course I am suspect that it comes from the men of the house slamming the seat down after they use it. Then I think to myself that only the little one does that, the big one leaves it up. I decide I will do nothing and keep an eye on it. It is in the only bathroom downstairs so it does get a fair amount of use. I really didn't think it would break after only 8 years though.

Then Ludim and her sister came to clean last week. I was close by and I heard the lid go up. Then shortly after, I heard a clatter that I thought must be the seat falling off completely. I didn't run in to see because I did not want to embarrass Ludim and her sister. I sat there listening to see if I could hear anything in Spanish that would indicate broken or toilet. I did not, they really are not in my Spanish vocabulary, although they should be. After awhile I passed through the kitchen and Ludim told me the seat broke. Ah yes, I acknowledged, it was on the way out. I think I'll go to Home Depot now.

There were plenty of choices there and of course no one to help. I knew we have round bowls because the oblong ones make me feel like I am in an institution of some sort. Round toilet seats seem homier somehow. I look at the wooden seats, the hard plastic seats and THEN...I see it....A seat the somehow will not slam. I test the lid. It gently falls to the seat. I test the seat. It too falls quietly. It IS plastic and might be flimsy. I notice it does have a lifetime guarantee. Yeah, who really saves the Home Depot receipt for a toilet seat but it does get me to buy it.

It takes me a few days to have time to install it. I figured the boys cold deal with no seat. I managed. I installed it with little trouble. Tried it out and decided it was a good buy. Comfy, quiet and it can be taken off easily for cleaning! Bonus!

Toddler invasion!!

2008-11-10T15:43:00.005-06:00

This was my weekend of paybacks. Paybacks for all the wonderful friends who watch kiddo when I am working, injured or relaxing.

Saturday morning Mitchell came over. He is three, a year younger than kiddo. He will will be good for Kiddo to know as they grow older. Mitchell is a tough kid who is fearless. Being afraid just never seems to cross his mind. He came over with his parents, who where looking at family pictures I took of them last weekend. They were amazed at how sweet and good he looked in the photos. He got into the shoot because he got some attention and he got to be with Mom and Dad at the same time.

Saturday afternoon kiddo and I went to Michael's house. They played there while Michael's mom and I did horse stuff. They have a huge pile of sand that the boys love to drive truck in. I think they could stay there for hours. I need to get one before he grows out of that stage. (When he does, I'll put compost on it and have a raised bed garden with good drainage.)

The plan was for the boys to play and then come to our house to eat dinner and have a sleep over. The boys decided they were starving so Michael's dad made them dinner. I loaded them up in the car and we began the night.

Kiddo wanted to watch a movie and of course M agreed. however, M was not really interested in watching a movie so he dumped out the blocks and began to build. Kiddo joined in and the movie was forgotten. They got into the Halloween candy (my mistake) and got a little crazy. I decided to calm them down by giving them a bath. They had fun playing in the tub. They seemed calm enough when they came out. In fact Kiddo was ready for bed. M wanted to sleep in Kiddo's Thomas the Tank engine bed, unfortunately so did kiddo. We popped up the Thomas tent and made a bed in there. Well, then M wanted to sleep in there with kiddo. Tight squeeze for two big boys. They battle for awhile until I took the tent bed down. Trying to get them to sleep together in the double bed was not going well. I created a bed of sorts with an egg crate foam pad and a down comforter. Each boy got his own pillow and blanket. That seemed to be working so I went to watch TV.

I heard a yell, a blood curling "oh crap what happened" yell. It sounded like my kid, which was better than it being our guest. M was out of the room with the double bed apologizing over and over. Kiddo was crying on the bed with a big old knot under his eye. Best I could tell there was jumping on the bed and wrestling. M's knee connected with Kiddo's eye. I got the ice pack as M told me he got hurt too and wanted to go home. I told him it was okay and just wait one minute while I get the injured party settled down.

Ice pack in place, I turned my attention to M who was downstairs asking me to call his mommy. I tried to calm him down to get him to stay but in the end called his mom. She came over laughing. She told me how she would do this to her mom all the time growing up except it was usually more like 12am or so. I told her what happened and she took it in stride.

I went up to check on kiddo and he was fast asleep with his ice pack on his face. I forgot to take a picture. It was cute. IT had been his second ice pack for the night, the first was his foot when he dropped the book he wanted to share with M on it. I got a fresh pack and sat with it gently on his face, careful not to wake him.

The next morning kiddo was very sad that M had gone home. He wanted to have blueberry muffins with him. We went down later in the day and M's parents marveled at kiddo's shiner. M was still insisting that he go hurt too. I think it was more painful for him to see kiddo get all the attention than kiddo's shiner was to him. They are still best friends and kiddo cannot wait to have a sleepover at M's house as soon as possible. EDITOR"S NOTE: The red on his face is strawberry fruit pop NOT an injury

Promotion!

2008-11-07T17:27:00.003-06:00

Thanks to my terminal addiction to Facebook, everyone already knows that I got promoted today to Assistant Director of Photography at the Austin American-Statesman. I honestly never thought I would get this far because of the slow turnover rate in our department. We have a talented staff and it makes you want to stick around. My duties will not be any different because I have been doing the job without the title for 9 months now anyway.

I am touched by how many well wishes I have gotten. Working somewhere you are appreciated by your peers makes a difference. The promotion says to me that the bosses are aware of what I am doing as well. Naively, I always thought I was a worker who flew under the radar, just doing my job without causing a fuss.

I will still continue to shoot on the side. Come Spring, I will have more time because of no class. I really want to start shooting more Senior portraits for high school kids. They are fun and excited. I think it would be a good direction to go as I get older. I think husband should get into it a bit because he could charge more because of his photographic reputation. What boy would not want his senior picture shot by a Sports Illustrated photographer!!

History is made

2008-11-05T09:50:00.002-06:00

Wow.

We witnessed history. We did not let our son watch Noggin last night so he could see the tallies coming in. He will not have a strong memory of this but there may be a vague one. As they drove home from day care last night, Kiddo asked Daddy what a Barack Obama was. Talk radio was on and Daddy explained that he may be the next president.

I watched McCain give a very gracious speech, conceding the election. He is a good man. I watched Obama give a speech filled with "WE" instead of "I". The emotion in the crowd was intense. I was happy to be watching from home because I am sure if I was with the crowd, I would be crying. Can we as a country get closer because of this election? I hope so.

My wish for Obama would be that he keeps his value system and his morals. He is a smart man who seems like he is not quick to react without getting the facts. I hope he will listen to the country. I pray that he will make it through all four years safely and keep our country safe and prosperous.

Election day!!!!!!!! finally.

2008-11-04T10:53:00.005-06:00

It has always been tough for me to vote on election day proper. I try in the morning and there are big lines. I cannot go at lunch because my polling place is too far from work. By the time I get off work, I may or may not make it to my polling place after picking up kiddo from daycare.

The only sensible option for me this year was to early vote. I chose my time thoughtfully. Early voting was open Saturday in my county. The University of Texas/Okla State game was that afternoon. Hmmmmm, Saturdays I tend to plan my travel and errands around the game, meaning I go out when the game is on.

Kiddo and I headed to the early vote location in Bastrop. He did not want to go. I grabbed on of his Highlights game magazines and bribed him. We were greeted warmly and the folks at the check in were ready to give my son as many "I voted" stickers as he wanted. I voted, he played quietly with his book.

When I finished, he did not want to leave. As we walked out of the building he said "Mommy, I'm sad."

"Why are you sad, honeybear?"

"I am sad because we are done voting."

A man walking in heard out exchange and I heard him chuckle as we left.

We have gotten many calls for last minute campaigning. It was my pleasure to say that I had already voted. When I told one caller this, he had the nerve to ask if I had voted for his candidate! I replied, slightly shocked, that it was personal information, thank you very much!

This morning kiddo informed Daddy that he had already voted.

"Oh yeah?" said Daddy, "Who did you vote for?"

"I don't know," kiddo replied, without a care.

Country Ghouls and Goblins

2008-11-04T10:00:00.005-06:00

Our neighborhood has a Halloween celebration every year. We all have long driveways ,no sidewalks and frankly it is tough for a kid to Trick-or-Treat. We got together and decided to make an organized affair. We would do a hayride. Tractors could pull flatbed trails filled with hay. Kids, with their parents, could ride. The tractors have one route down the main street of our neighborhood. People come to the ends of their driveways, sit in lawn chairs and give candy when the kids unload from the hayride.

This year was our third year of the hayride. We have evolved to 3 hayrides which leave 15 minutes apart. Neighbors have created insta-parties at street intersections instead of driveways. Everyone socializes. The kids have a fun ride, get candy and are safe!

We usually take the last hayride because I cannot get home from work any sooner. This usually involves flying home from work, running into the house, grabbing the candy and a pumpkin to put on the top of the mailbox. I throw them in the car, change kiddo into his Spiderman costume in the driveway. Drive to the end, put the candy and pumpkin on the mailbox, and ask a neighbor to light it when it gets dark. We then wave to the full hayrides we pass on the way to the start. Kiddo sees all of his friends on the earlier rides, I pray for no meltdown.

The last tractor is waiting for us. I quickly put on my Spidermom costume. We are on the ride with a dad and his little girl, dressed as a green M&M. She does not want momma to leave. After some waiting for stragglers, we go. Two kids, five adults. We lose two adults at one party stop but gain a mom and dad with their son. they are not from the neighborhood but heard about us through friends in the 'Hood. That is fine with us!

The trick about the last hayride is that there is plenty of candy left over, so much that people are jamming skittles and butterfingers into my son's pumpkin. About halfway into the ride, I beg a neighbor giving out candy for an overflow bag. She is resourceful and finds a grocery back in the car. I need to remember this for next year. I empty Spiderman's pumpkin into the big bag and we are ready to continue.

One of the stop is scary with a couple of monsters with scary faces and light up eyes. They sway zombie-like. Kiddo is scared but still gets his candy and scampers back to the safety of the trailer. He is starting to understand the concept of Halloween but is not very loud on the "Trick or Treat!" Maybe next year.

We finish the ride and it is dark. Everyone has packed up and gone home to count candy and make sure there are no scary things in the take. Kiddo has had a lollipop and some chocolate but no real dinner. I am not going to push it. If he wants to eat candy for dinner, this would be the night to let him.

Easy Come not so Easy Go

2008-10-30T22:14:00.004-05:00

I knew it had to come to an end at some point. Every semester I would try and decide if the time sucker of teaching a class was worth it. So far it has been. The students have been interesting and talented. Every semester, I wonder if they are going to ask me back. They did for 3 semesters, which I suspect is pretty good.

Today I was told in a very sweet and personal way that next semester someone else would be teaching MY class. While I am sad at the loss, I understand the need to have a full time staff member teach more than one class. I mean, I teach a class AND have a full time job. WTF! He will do a great job but it will be a different class with a different vibe.

I better get the credit card paid off again, take advantage of my faculty discount and remember what it is like to have some time to spend with my family.

It truly is a mixed blessing. They may ask me back someday and may not. At least I have it on my resume. I know I enjoy teaching. I may need to rethink where I am going in the future with my career, which may be nonexistent in the near future.

Motivational Issues

2008-10-29T14:34:00.003-05:00

So I am having serious motivation problems. I was not even inspired to dress even semi professionally today. I did manage earings and a necklace but settled for a big oxford shirt over capris and flats. LOW EFFORT.

I have procrastinated on Facebook and now I am taking stock of what is on my desk.

!. cup that need washing
2. someone else's mug
3. about 25 coke caps saved to enter "My Coke Rewards"
4. box of paper clips
5. fluorescent post-its brought from home
6.2 generic benedryl
7. empty diet Coke bottle
8. 3 yellow highlighters (why I need 3? don't know)
9. old pink erasure (my pencils lose their erasures too fast.
10. a handful of pink M&M's (I eat the dark pink first)
11. legal pad
12. daily schedule for photo dept
13. budgets, scrap papers with numbers scribbled on them
14. one Mirado Black Warrior pencil w/out erasure and chewed up #2 yellow pencil (not mine)
15.hand lotion
16. empty flower vase
17. lite salt and red wine vinegar
18. car keys
19. ear phones
20 card reader
21. little Buddha statue

I am sure there is a person who make a living analyzing desk contents. I wonder what my desk says about me, other than the fact that I am a mess.

Mandatory requirements

2008-10-28T22:05:00.003-05:00

Things I think should be mandatory for everyone. These things should be given time for, subsidized by employers and made a regular part of daily life.

1. naps- good for the soul, creativity and sanity

2. massages - having people knead, stretch, and rub the stress out is good. Having someone touch you in a non sexual way, when you are not worried about having shaved your legs or not, or your figure flaws feels nice.

3. laughter - does not matter how it comes to you, just do it

4. music - helps any mood along, nice to have a soundtrack for your life.

5. exercise - I am giving a wide berth here but moving the body to produce sweat would be my requirement

oh and 8 hours of sleep in a cold room would be good too.

Nightly Ritual

2008-10-27T21:46:00.002-05:00

It is a wonder that I get work done when husband is not around.

After work tonight, kiddo and I went to Target to get the finishing touches for his Halloween costume. Nothing exciting just Spidey shoes to go with his Spidey suit. We finished and were on our way by 7pm.

Got close to home when kiddo asked for a burger from Old McDonald's. Considering the options of Happy Meal vs. waiting 15 minutes while I tried to figure out what to feed him and another 15 minutes making it, I thought Old McDonald's was not a bad idea.

We got home by 7:35. The dogs, cooped up all day, shot out of out as if powered by rocket fuel. Kiddo ate and then watched one show while I fed horses and dogs. We went up to bathe at 8:30pm. He ran downstairs naked after the bath while I tried to get the crazed dogs in. Of course I was interrupting their conversations with the other neighborhood dogs.

Pajamas on, we went back up to bed. Brushed teeth, clipped nails and read a story. I tried to get him down for 25 minutes until finally giving in to lay on the floor and do some work on the computer, which is where I am at this moment. I am hoping he is asleep so I can go downstairs and finish grading. We need to be out the door early tomorrow so I can put in my 8 hours at work and then teach for two more.

Fact is, I really do not mind hanging out in his room or on his bed while he falls asleep. It is meditative. I try to wind down at this time. Sometimes I over achieve and need to hit the hay myself. Not tonight, too much to do.

Chilly

2008-10-23T09:36:00.002-05:00

Chilly weather blew in to town. It also blew into our bedroom last night. We opened all the windows and the curtains were blowing with each wind gust. I think it was the first time that husband did not kick off the covers since last winter. With each gust, something new blew off the window sill, luckily the kitties were not one of those things. It was a three kitty bed night. Virgil by my head, Grace between me and husband and Smudgey on my feet.

Italy: the right way, part six

2008-10-21T22:19:00.003-05:00

Our days on Capri were spent walking and eating with a bit of drinking thrown in. Shopping was not on my agenda because the Euro vs. Dollar is pitiful. I did enjoy looking though, beautiful clothes, jewelry, men...oops did I say that? Then were not so much beautiful as charming. Those Italian men have that down!

Friday we decided to visit Anacapri, the smaller town on the island. We got on the bus, did I mention that buses on Capri are like clown buses? People just pile on the bus until you wonder how they can make room for more. Our very full bus wound up the hills. The views were wonderful and I suspect scary if you are afraid of heights.

We decided to take the chair lift up Monte Solaro, the highest spot on Capri where you can see the mainland of Italy as well as the whole island of Capri. When I say chair lift, I mean a chair with arms hanging from a cable that one person hops into and then you swing a flimsy metal bar in front of you. You wonder if your flip flops will stay on, or what would happen if you dropped your purse on the way up. Worse still, what if you were to drop on the way up? The whole ride takes 12 minutes, if you chose to hike, it would take over an hour.

The summit is cold and windy as you would suspect the top of a mountain to be. There is a courtyard with a place to eat and drink coffee. Back in the 50's the complex was built with a pool, solarium, restaurant and American bar. I wondered why it was not operational anymore. We made our pictures, had something to drink and headed back down.

Down was much scarier that up. The steep hills were intimidating as our chairs floated over gardens and houses. After a bit of window shopping, it began to sprinkle. Rather than wait for the sardine bus, the six of us piled in a taxi into Capri. An interesting thing about Capri is the lack of personal cars. There are only a couple of roads to drive on anyway so there is no point. The smaller alleys are walking only with track pickup and deliveries being made by small gator type vehicles.

My brother and sister-in-law rented scooters to see the sights. The first scooter rental place refused to rent to them because the both wanted bikes. The owner wanted my sister-in-law to ride behind her husband. She know how to ride a motorcycle, so they found a different place at Marina Grande. After proving that they could manage the bikes well, they were off.

My only regret is that I did not make it up to Villa Jovis where the Roman emperors had their holidays. It is said that if they did not like someone, they were thrown over the cliff into the sea.

It all seems like a beautiful dream. I am happy to have the pictures for memories. The kiddo is already asking when he can go to Italy and ride on a boat. Someday my son, someday.

Italy: the right way, part five

2008-10-20T18:10:00.006-05:00

Capri Part 1

We landed on Capri after a very quick hydrofoil trip across the Mediterranean. The harbor was small but accessible for the large yachts that brought in wealthy visitors. Our luggage was picked up by an employee of Scalinatella. We took the funicular up the hill to the town and then we walked through the village square, along the main street filled with high end shops. We made a left at the Grand Hotel Quisisana, where the movie stars stay, and continued down the narrow street until we got to our hotel, La Scalinatella. The hotel is lovely with a large courtyard divided for drinks or dining on one side, the entrance in the middle and a garden leading to the pool on the right. The staff was very nice and attentive. They made you feel like you were the most important guest they ever had stay there. Our room was large and we were delighted when we saw there were two bathrooms. Husband asked my preference.

"The one with the whirlpool tub and shower of course! silly question. Why would you need such a large mirror anyway." I answer smiling.

There was a sitting area as well as the bed. It was done all in white and blue, Very relaxing. The balcony had a view of at least a quarter of the island. Husband went to explore the gym right away to get a run in. I took his powerbook down the pool and surfed the web a bit before taking pictures of husband working out in the pretty gym. it was then when I saw the hotel manager escorting a handsome bond man to a very private room past the gym. I could SWEAR it was Jude Law. I waited around a bit to see if he came out again but he did not so I went upstairs to rest. Husband came up and I asked him if he saw the guy who walked by with the hotel manager.

"Sure," he said "He came to workout right after you left."
"Was it Jude Law?"
"I wouldn't know Jude Law if I fell on him"
"Well, did he have an English accent?"
"I didn't talk to him. I was working out!"

MEN!!

Advice I must give to any traveler going to Capri: always forget your camera (if you have it you will not see anyone famous) and wear comfortable shoes. There is tons of walking to very interesting places. I guess you could wear sexy shoes if you were not planning on going far. I did see women with sexy shoes when we went to "The Rocks" a restaurant on the rocks where folks can hang out and sunbathe.

One of my favorite stories came from that restaurant. The food was so good. I had a fettucine with lobster and my mother-in-law ordered this incredible "fish soup" as it was called on the menu. It was so much more than that. More like a platter of every kind of shellfish you could imagine. mmmmmm.
After we ate, the waiter took our picture. A man sitting nearby with his very young, bought-and-paid-for companion, said something in German. It sounded like the equivalent of our "say cheese!" My mother-in-law sweetly turned around and answered him in German, he blushed and went back to his meal.
Turns out, the man had said something like "say Hotshit!" and my mother-in-law said "I understand what you just said." Good for her!!!! Maybe that will teach Mr. I bought my boyfriend to keep his mouth shut.

Italy: the right way, part four

2008-10-16T12:17:00.003-05:00

Our trusty driver Guitano picked us up at the San Pietro on the morning we left Positano.

The morning before, as we headed out for the day, a cruise ship made its way close to the hotel and blew the horn several times. The owners along with several members of the staff stood on the top terrace and waved scarves and umbrellas as the ship passed. The ship seemed too big for the Positano harbor took a left after it passed the hotel and headed out to sea. We later learned that a former staff member of the hotel was recently hired by the cruise line and was on that ship. What a sweet moment we witnessed!

On our agenda today was a quick stop in Pompeii. I have wanted to see the lost city since I was 10 years old. The images of bodies in agony as they lost the battle with the volcano fascinated me. I could not image a city so old having such a sophisticated lifestyle. I had to see it.

Guitano asked us if we wanted a tour guide, my in-laws wisely said yes. He quickly made a call and it was all set, a guide would meet us in Pompeii. Did I mention that Guitano knew everyone?

When we arrived, I was amazed at the amount of tourist junk that was there. I don't know why it surprised me but maybe I though it should be a respected monument. Luckily the tourist junk was on the outside of the city. We met Francesco, who got us tickets quickly and ushered us though the turnstiles and into the city.

Francesco was very knowledgeable about the city and his English was excellent. He had spent time all over the world before coming back to Italy. There were huge tour groups from cruise ships speaking German, Japanese, French and English. We had limited time and a small group so Francesco took us to the main attractions. I think we got so much more out of our visit than if we were on our own or with a huge tour group. Many of the building were closed for renovations but we did see so much. Again, I think I would have liked to have stayed longer to see more but we only had 2 hours.

In the middle of the public baths, my camera battery died. Luck was with me because my father-in-law had a camera with the same type of battery. He gave me his. I thought that was very nice and continued my mad pursuit of photos. I wonder if they ever let private tour explore the parts that are blocked off to the public. It would be worth it to volunteer at the dig just to get that opportunity.

As we left I thought about what I learned: didn't know the city was fortified by a huge wall and guard posts, the Italian archaeologist that first discovered the bodies saw they were really pockets in the hardened ash and poured plaster to make casts of the victims, lead pipes for plumbing who knew? (probably why they had a short life span, so many brothels (wonder what crime was like?). I hope to go back someday but at least I can say I saw it.

We found a small restaurant for lunch and had pizza and coke light. oh yes, Caprese salad of course! I thought everyone was going to sleep after lunch so I commandeered the front seat on our drive to Sorrento to catch the hydrofoil to Capri.

Italy: the right way, part three

2008-10-14T11:58:00.003-05:00

Pasta, pasta, pasta. I was worried that that was all I was going to be eating. I had heard it was served with every meal. My reality was that I only had pasta few times, fluffy gnocchi in pesto, fettuccine with lobster and some unknown pasta with pumpkin and eggplant, which sounds questionable but was very tasty. How could I resist the Caprese salad? Each restaurant has a different take on it, mozzerella had different textures, big tomatoes or cherry tomatoes. I was surprised at the popularity of cherry tomatoes in all the seasonal dishes. I had always though of them as the poor relation to the roma tomato. Alas cherry tomato, you have earned my respect!

Seafood is fresh and abundant along the Amalfi coast. Since I do not eat it regularly in Texas, but do love it, I made it my mission to have seafood once a day. Squid, octopus, fresh grilled whole fish, clams, mussels, lobster...mmmmm. I adored their take on the seafood salad. Big, meaty no scrimping or KRAB instead of lobster or crab. My mother-in-law frequently ordered the "fish soup" which was not a soup at all but a delicious variety of shellfish, and fish.

One night, high above the town of Positano, we ate at a small family restaurant. A driver picked us up from the hotel and took us up the mountain. When we arrived and walked in the door Vinchenzo came and welcomed us to the restaurant. As far as I can grasp his mom and dad were the chefs. We sat down and all of a sudden plates of food started coming mozzerella, fried mozzerella, pasta with eggplant and pumpkin, eggplant, white beans and fish, garbanzo beans and something, thin slices of roasted pumpkin, caprese salad, salami, procuitto, spinach and so much more. It was wonderful not having to make a choice. We tried it all! Then papa came out and started grilling meat. just as we finished the first course, the meat was brought on a huge platter.

Breakfast was just as important as any other meal. I adore European muesli (granola to us). It is a snack in itself. We chose from fresh fruit, yogurt, breads, pastries and that did not even include the menu options. I ordered hot chocolate one chilly morning and was surprised to get a small pitcher with a very thick liquid. It was like drinking the chocolate from a chocolate fountain. I ended up dipping by strawberries and croissant in it. Husband used some for his coffee. I still did not finish this chocolatey sinful goodness.

We drank and drank. Our local red favorite was made with red Aglianico grapes. It was full and not fruity. It did not heat me up the way reds normally do. Prosecco was the ladies favorite in the group. Italian champagne. Some were sweet, some dry. My mother-in-law said she saw some thing suggesting putting lemoncello in the prosecco. It was very good. We drank that too much one night and had a nasty hangover. In Capri the desk manager asked what my sister-in-law and I were drinking because the prosecco looked cloudy. She proudly announced the creation. His look was priceless, it was if she said she was putting catsup on caviar. "Prosecco OR lemoncello," he said firmly, "Not both together!" I quietly hid my glass under the table and let her take the heat. She is a great sport and took it like a champ. We did try to blame it on mother-in-law but somehow it did not stick.

Italy: the right way, part two

2008-10-13T10:50:00.002-05:00

Guitano wound up the narrow roads to Ravello. Occasionally we had to stop to let a tour bus navigate the narrow hairpin turns. I was lucky to be in the front seat where I could take pictures out the window. It amazed me how the land was terraced to accommodate grape vines, lemon trees and olive trees. We saw a number of hiking groups who were using the old peasant trails in the hills to go from town to town. We saw donkeys waiting to take loads up the hills where cars could not go.

Once we got to Ravello, Guitano let us off and we walked to the town square while he parked. He said he would meet us at the square later and take us to lunch and a small local restaurant. We explored the shops in the square trying to get in before they closed for lunch. The door was being shut to the cameo factory when I was about to go in. Lunch had arrived right before me. We went to lunch inviting Guitano to eat with us. He said he would eat in the back with the drivers. We suspected that the drivers eat free if they bring their clients to certain restaurants but they must eat in the back. We ate a simple lunch. Momma of the restuarant was taken with my brother-in-law. She pinched his cheek and made sure he had enough to eat. She then scampered off and returned with some faded looking grapes. "These are from my garden", she said proudly, " You eat." We laughed wondering if we should be honored or if it was an Italian joke to give Americans yucky grapes to see if they would eat them. We ate the good looking ones and paid our bill.

We then walked and walked and walked to Villa Cimbrone, noted for their beautiful gardens and incredible views. We were not disappointed. The tree lined path led to an outcropping with sculpture and a view of Amalfi. Off the beaten path there was a rose garden that had not had it's Fall bloom yet. I think I could have stayed another 2 hours there exploring and making pictures but I was in the minority. I know we missed so much more. It seemed like there was more to do in Ravello but we were on a schedule and needed to get back to Positano for dinner.

Italy: the right way, part one

2008-10-12T20:34:00.007-05:00

Ahhhh how the other half lives....We just returned from a wonderful vacation in Italy on the Amalfi coast with my in-laws. This included husband's brother and his wife. The trip was a gift from the in-laws to celebrate their 41 years of marriage. What a lovely , thoughtful gift.

We began the trip all flying into Naples, Italy. From what I saw on the drive out of the city, it looked like a rough place to live. Decrepit high rises with laundry drying in the smoggy air. Roads were rough and crowded. I was happy to be out of the city.

The roads soon turned narrow and winding as we wound our way through and around the mountains along the coast. It seems Italians speak to each other with their car horns. A warning Beep, beep when going around a tight bend, a cheery Beep! when passing a friend or tour bus and a long Beeeeep! when someone has done something dangerous. Our driver Guitano knew the roads well and had driven for my in-laws in the past. His Mercedes van navigated the tricky roads effortlessly and he was still able to hold a conversation in English.

We soon arrived in Positano where we would be staying for 4 days. As we drove through the town, Guitano told us that tourism was down this year but the street still seemed full of shoppers. Four hairpin turns out of town, we pulled into the San Pietro. It seemed small until we took the elevator down and discovered the hotel was built into the cliff and had beautiful views and luxurious spaces for guests to lounge. A guest could choose to take the 400 steps down to the beach or use the small elevator that opened up in a cave-like alcove to go to the beach restaurant, bar or lounge chairs. The boat dock was also down here so guests could catch a boat into Positano, to Capri or take the hotel boat on it's daily 2 hour tour.

We took the boat tour twice. You could view Positano from the sea, houses all stacked up into the hillside. You passes amazing rock formations and grottos. The boat anchored at a small island, with 2 houses on it. One of the houses belonged to Nureyev, the dancer. While guests jumped off the boat and swam in the sea, the captain to the boat put out olives, peanuts and sangria for refreshment. The day I swam, the water was cold and the swells were larger than I was comfortable with. I decided against swimming to the grotto and went back to the boat. Being slightly hung over from prosecco and lemoncello the night before, I felt this was a wise and safe decision.

Another day, Guitano took us on a driving tour of the Amalfi coast, where we saw Sofia Loren's home, huge yachts in the Amalfi harbor and the green grotto. The green grotto ended up being a tourist trap that made us laugh so hard it was worth the 5 euros. "Lookie, Lookie!" the boatman would say "it's magic! The rock looks like Ronald Reagan or Abraham Lincoln if you like." The grotto had a nativity seen under water that some fisherman put there in 1964. I am sure this was a feeble attempt to lure tourists to see the miracle of the grotto. The boatman sang, told stories and did everything he could to earn a tip. We gave him one, we knew the season had been slow.

Vacation Abroad

2008-09-26T22:59:00.002-05:00

We're off to Italy! Headed to Positano and Capri. Hope I have packed the right clothes. Hope all goes well. Hope the kiddo has fun with my parents. I am sure he will. We have not exactly told him we are going away for a week or so. He knows Grammie and Granddad are saying for along visit.

I plan to relax. I plan to take pictures. I plan to pretend I live like this all the time...the life of the rich and famous in a 5 star hotel.

Ten Little Four Year olds...

2008-09-22T16:01:00.004-05:00

We had a birthday party for our little kiddo this past Saturday. His birthday was actually Sunday but we saved that for the family party.

Saturday morning kiddo was having a tough time being good. He was so excited. We told him if he didn't behave, we would have to cancel the party. He thought about this and told us we could cancel the family party on Sunday. He was okay with that, but he still wanted to have the Saturday party with his friends. As if he had a choice....as if we had a choice.

We ordered a Spiderman bouncy that would be delivered sometime that afternoon before the party. Kiddo did not know this but he had asked for one. When the truck came down the drive way, I took him upstairs for a bath. He had no idea what was going on in the front yard. After the bath he came down and saw the bouncy through the window. He was excited but yet not surprised. Of course he wanted to try it out right away. So he and daddy went to bounce.Good thing, because as we discovered later, more than 4 little kids in a bouncy is VERY intimidating for other little kids, HECK, for grown-ups too!

The neighborhood kids arrived first, then the school friends. We had ages 2-6 but mostly 4 year olds. They all got to know each other in the bouncy as they crashed into each other showing off their best moves. Some were afraid and rightly so, it was chaos. There seemed to a be a disjointed lull, so I herded everyone into the house for present opening. We mistakenly did that in one room which got VERY loud. Kids talking and yelling then parents trying to hold conversations over them. It was mind numbing. Okay, everyone out! More bouncy play and outdoor fun.

Then it just got too hot. Everyone came in again. Parents gathered in the kitchen and kids in the playroom. This was fine, manageable even. No kids were maimed or even scratched! parents could gossip, talk and get to know each other. All of kiddo's toys came out of the drawers, cupboards and bins.

Spiderman cupcake cake time! Word of advice for the future: black, gray and blue icing on a cake, not only look gross but are very messy. Have wipes available. Kids love icing of any color though and manage to get it all over their face, arms, hands and even feet. My kiddo was happy to eat just the icing and leave the cake. I am not sure if he has figured out that paper needs to be peeled off the cupcake. Some kids had two! We were happy because I think the remaining cake will get tossed tonight.

I almost forgot the pinata. I bought a different kin this year where the kids pull ribbons to release the candy, not beat it until dad has to come over and split it open with a hack saw. I think I put way too much candy in it but the kids filled their little bags.

It was a fun afternoon but exhausting. I was barely able to function after the party. It may have been the party prep that added to the condition, but at 9:30pm, I crashed. We had just put the kiddo to be an hour before. He was just as wiped.

Five more days of summer

2008-09-16T21:48:00.002-05:00

Tonight was a teaching night. I teach a photojournalism class at the University. Parking at the University is always either a)scarce or b) expensive. Last semester I paid $9 to park in the garage so my car would at least be in the shade. The open lot next door was $8 and not much shade.

This semester I use a pass to get me into a lot that is relatively close to the building where class is held. There is usually a shady spot that I can grab.

Tonight I came out of class, walked across the street enjoying the nice weather. I got to my car and my stomach flip-flopped. There was a friggen boot on my tire! I saw some University guys in the lot.

"Would you all happen to know how I can get the boot off my car?" I asked a sweetly as possible.

"We don't do boots," said the driver.

Funny, I thought, what are all those orange things in the bed of the truck?

"Call number on your ticket," said the driver attempting to be helpful.

Walking over, I saw that it was not so much a ticket but an obnoxious paper slapped right on the driver's side of the windshield. Peeling it off the best I could, I called.

"Why the boot?" I asked. "I have a parking permit that is valid."

The student, I know student because it was one of those thankless jobs that students make tons of money doing because people are always yelling at them or hanging up on them, informed me that I had an outstanding ticket from May.

BACKSTORY: Back in May I went to pick up a final project from a student who promised me she would turn in her then late assignment on this day and leave it in my mailbox. The 15 min parking was full so I pulled into the garage with flashers on. The parking police dude was sitting right there in his golf cart and did not attempt to stop me. I ran upstairs, found NO project in my mailbox and dashed down to my car. The very same parking dude was writing me a ticket. Still writing it!!! Can't you stop and tear it up since I am here? NO he said but you can probably forget it and not get into trouble.

My outstanding ticket had gotten me booted. I walked to the nearest parking garage, paid the fine and slowly walked back to my car. Within minutes the boot man came and took off the boot. I not so merrily went home a little more in debt.

End Note: Husband has an outstanding parking ticket with the city. I keep warning him that he is going to get booted. He has not yet. He laughs at me and assures me the city is too busy to pick on him. We'll see. Unfortunately, I will most likely be driving when it happens. I think I will stick to my cars.

Moonlight Gardener

2008-09-16T08:31:00.005-05:00

Working the night shift has its advantages in that you can get chores done early in the day. Yesterday I shopped, got a good workout in and bought seeds and plants to start my Fall garden. The only problems are a) I am extremely impatient b)I didn't get home until 11pm. I wanted to get the garden started. I read long ago that planting under a full moon is good for plants. Since we had one last night, I decided to plant when I got home. I only got a few tomatoes in the big garden because I started thinking about fire ants. You can't see them in the dark and my memory of being stung by the wasps is still pretty fresh. Stinging things suck.

I took the herbs seeds, chives, cilantro and dill, and prepared a large pot to plant them in. After watering them in, I notice a small lizard in the empty dog dish on the back porch. At first glance, I thought it was a gecko. We have loads of them that come out at night to feed on the bugs attracted by the porch light. I dumped this little guy in my hand and saw that it was a baby Texas Spiny lizard. I held him and could feel his heart beating. His eyes closed and he looked like he was settling in. The warmth from my hand seemed to relax him. I tried to get him to move on to a tree but he would have none of it. A warm hand was a much better option for him on this chilly evening.

I carried him around while I finished my gardening. The idea came to me that maybe I could make a habitat for him inside so he could stay warm. After 30 seconds, I decided that was a very bad idea. I did not have time to find bugs for this little guy and maybe he had a momma who was missing him.

I tried again to get him interested in hopping off into a bush. No go. Maybe a planter? Nope. The wall under the light that attracts a zillion bugs? Ah-ha! Yes, except that his tiny little suction cup feet could not hold on and he slipped down to the wood floor of the porch. I made sure he was okay. He was fine and scurried off. I wonder if he will remember the evening he found a friend with a warm hand.

Working late

2008-09-11T21:20:00.003-05:00

A coworker is sick this week so I am working the night shift. Secretly I LOVE to work late. I really enjoy having the mornings to exercise and slowly get going. I actually went to a yoga class this morning that had two of us taking the class. I felt like I had a yoga tutor. It was special.

Husband is home so he was able to pick up the kiddo and get him fed. He just called ma and asked about feeding the horses. WOW. I am impressed he has been super wonderful since he has gotten home, cooking, doing laundry and helping around the house. I am enjoying this and really feel like this is how our lives should be together. I hope we can keep this going for awhile.

Tomorrow Dewey goes in to become less of a man or stallion. He is finally getting gelded. It needs to be done before my parents come to visit. I can just see him pushing them around. They do not need that. I will pick Dewey up on Saturday and he will stay in cool neighbor's barn for a few days since we may get some rain and wind from Hurricane Ike. In my heart I know that we will not get any bad weather because UT canceled the game, evacuations are going well and everyone seems prepared.

The only thing that is worrying me is how I am going to get into work on Friday if the evacuations are clogging up the roads. I may hit the country roads and see if I can get in that way. My motto since my days as a photographer "Always know 3 ways to get one place".

Saturday shoot

2008-09-09T21:39:00.003-05:00

I really wanted to write about this sooner, but Saturday I had a lovely relaxing drive to Hempsted TX via Independence, X. I always stop in Independence because of the Antique Rose Emporium. I just love the place! I roam around the ground admiring the garden projects. I usually buy an antique rose or two but it was nearly 95 degrees and I didn't really feel like worrying about them while I had my shoot. I did wonder why a building was missing though. Turns out they had an electrical fire last winter that took out the main building. They are rebuilding and I hope it will still have the quaint charm that the other building had.

Onward to Hempsted to photography my old workout buddy's mom's horses. I had never met Shane's mom just heard about her from Shane. I would be meeting her at her trainer Becky's place. I had it in my mind that Shane's mom had large appaloosas and the trainers place was going to be this imposing place with lots of white fencing and a big white barn. Don't ask me why, it is just what I had in mind since they were close to Houston.

When I turned in the driveway, I was pleasantly surprised. There WAS a kick ass arena but the farm was humble and neat. I met Leslie, Shane's mom. Not what I was expecting at all!! I knew she was petite but I guess I was not expecting short red hair. Becky was just as tiny with short, stylish, blond hair and a very intense gaze.

We walked around and looked at the farm deciding where to shoot and firming up what exactly they were expecting from the photography. We had very pretty warm afternoon light and chose a location by a pond. It was very pretty and Becky's husband had just mowed. Shane's dad was there too taking pics. He was nice too. We all laughed when I told them I was from Timonium because they were from neighboring Hereford in Baltimore County. Small world.

We photographed mares, geldings and Becky's Stallion. I could tell he was special. He was so tank-like and strong looking. He had a kind eye and was very gentle. I could tell he adored Becky. He had a keen taste for spanish moss.

After we were done with the formal pics, we wnet to the front paddock and did some the the old sweet broodmare who likes bananas. The light was so pretty but the horses were more interested in the camera than having their pictures made.

All in all it was a fun day of meeting new people, new horses and making pretty pictures. I really need more of those days. At least I did not want to leave from there with another horse. I really think I have what I need for awhile.

Woman Crush

2008-09-05T20:08:00.003-05:00

For the past few weeks I have been trying to set up a photo shoot with a local philantropist/fund raiser. She is an attractive busy mom, wife and general fabulously dressed socialite. I wanted to be angry with her for not making the first shoots we had set up.

"Screw her", I thought, "We don't need her."

Turns out we did so I kept at it. When I finally spoke with her, I realized that she is a busy as I am and I could not help but like her. We went through road block after road block trying to arrange the shoot. We had no staff, she recommended a photographer she likes. That shooter was out of town. Eventually we figured it out. After phone calls and emails, I really wanted to meet her.

The day of the shoot I began work at 8am after taking kiddo to day care. I did not take lunch. Left at 4:30 to go teach my college photo class. Our babysitter picked up kiddo from day care and met me near the shoot. Kiddo and I walked to the location and waiting for her to show up. She took a car service so she would not have to worry about parking and if we were not ready she could wait in air conditioned comfort. My mother-in-law would love her!

She bounded up the walk in her party dress and casual flats. Her make-up and hair perfect. Hugs all around, she charmed us all. She was fun and professional. There was no way I could not like her. In fact, I have a girl crush. I would love to be more like her. Polished, attractive, smart, fun and definitely the person you want at your party. I know why she is such a great event chair, she could get honey from bees with just a smile.

Kiddo liked her too. He was a bit slow to warm up but I could tell her was in awe as well. I hope we see her again someday. She seems pretty wonderful.

Non Labor Day

2008-09-01T19:57:00.004-05:00

I get it. I pretty much took the day off. We took it easy, kiddo and I. did not really eat breakfast until 9:30am or so. Later we went to Tractor Supply and Home Depot. We took our time. Kiddo sat on some tractors and I did not care that there were long lines.

I dropped kiddo off at Francis' (aka Bam Bam) house for lunch and went to cut the lawn. Got it done, made some tipsy Arnold Palmer's and went to see everyone. It took kiddo while to even realize that I was there. He was having a great time. Then we wandered down the street to Nathan's house with the pool. Bam Bam, Nathan and kiddo have a great time together.

We hung out and played for hours. Seventies music was playing on the sat. radio, I was sipping my tipsy A.P. and thinking this is how life should. Relaxing on the weekends with neighbors, watching the kids and trying not to think about work tomorrow. In a way, it was very seventies or at least what you see in the movies or remember from childhood.

It was just so good.

Sunday - Day of Rest

2008-08-31T12:38:00.004-05:00

The rabbit sat on the front lawn surrounded by crows. There must have been eight of them surrounding the bunny as if he had the key to some locked door full of crow treats. As I came out the door, most of the crows flew away. One stayed locked in an eye to eye stand-off with the bunny. I slipped inside to get the camera. When I opened the door to get outside, they had danced around some so the crow could see the door. He flew off but the bunny say in the long grass trying to decide whether to leave his buffet. The door opened again and kiddo came out with his neighborhood friend. The dogs flew out the door and the bunny dashed into the pasture away from instant death.

Sunday used to be the day of rest and refection. I spent lunch time lying on the couch resting after spending a few hours with me friends and his 9 yr. old daughter. He came over as part of a barter for speaking to my class at UT. He is an amazing photographer who lives in town. His daughter loves horses and he loves his daughter. They drove an hour this morning to spend time with Bailey, the grump.

She brushed him and groomed him and I taught her her how to act and move around horses. I put her on with an English saddle. She rode while I had a lede line attached to his bit. We walked around the pasture while dad busily took pics. She did great in the pasture so we decided to have a walk around the neighborhood. I was having such a good time and she was doing so well that I walked a bit too far. I was not wearing good shoes for walking and it was the first walk since the fall off the horse. I was tempted to hop on with her and ride home but I am not sure Bailey would behave with 2 riders and I am not supposed to be riding yet. So I braved on trying not to limp home. After washing Bailey down, we hydrated, chatted and my friend's daughter drew a very cute thank you card for me. It was fun.

After the rest, kiddo's little friend came over. Actually he is a year older and really has just wanted to come over so he could play with kiddo's toys. That was fine with me because we spent yesterday afternoon at his house playing in the pool. They played well together.

When he left, we played games until we decided to go to Rachel's house to drop off a table and chairs. She was having family dinner at her house. I though kiddo would like to play with her nieces and nephews. We were not even out of the 'hood before the little one was sound asleep snoring in the car seat. Went to Rachel's, he never woke up. Looked for her lost cows in the car a bit, still asleep. decided to drive into town to get gas. After gassing up the car, he woke up wanting to go to Tractor Supply. I told him that I just drove by and it was closed. That was half true, I knew it was closed but had not driven by. I offered to go by again and we did. He cried and said he didn't like T.S. anymore. He wanted to go home and he said he didn't want to go to Rachel's either. Smiling and sighing, I said "all right, we'll just go home."

okay really, no more!

2008-08-29T20:31:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was my first class of the semester. Quiet kids so far but I hear they will perk up. All went well.

Katie, our babysitter, picked up kiddo from day care and I met them at the grocery store with the playground after class. They were eating dinner. This will work great, I thought. Since husband cannot be counted on to be in town on class days, I needed someone to get him because class does not end until 15 minutes past day care closing time.

We got home and I got kiddo settled in my bed watching some Noggin. i went out to feed the horses. I thought maybe I would string up the temporary fence and let Bailey eat some grass. As I went to tie the rope on the fence, my hand brushed against a yellow jacket nest. I did not even see it. All of a sudden the neighbors were serenaded by my string of obscenities. I am wondering if I should call an apologize for destroying the peacefulness of the evening. I ran in the house, doused my hand and arm in alcohol, not really sure why. Then I went upstairs and took a few slugs of children's Benedryl. Still in pain, I went back outside, cussing under my breath, to feed the horses and kill the friggin' wasps. After I accomplished both, I went back inside to put ice on. At Rachel's suggestion, I put on baking soda and took my 800mg ibuprofen.

I had no energy to bathe the kiddo. So he went to bed dirty. I pretty much crashed after that. I woke up many times in the night because of the pain. I still went to work today because of all the time I had missed from the horse fall. Late in the afternoon the staff convinced me to go to the doctor. I went and 2 hours and a shot later I went back to work.

That should be three huge painful things. I am done. I have had my three (or six even). I have to laugh because it really is getting absurd. At the doctor, I counted 14 spots that were entry points. No wonder my whole arm is so swollen.

The Boys are Back in Town

2008-08-27T13:00:00.002-05:00

My guys are back from the NY adventure.
Kiddo got to spend days at the beach on Long Island, where the in-laws have a cabana at the beach club for changing. His Oma even got him a blue blazer for the fancy dinners they have there. Turns out he really didn't need it but he looks so darn cute!
He went to the local pool where his dad went as a boy and met some new friends who he wanted to fly back to Texas.
He saw the dino bones at the Natural History Museum in NYC.
He journeyed to the Hamptons to meet the family of one of husband's friends.
He went to the candy store with Oma and learned what a ring pop is.
He saw a professional baseball game. The Mets were in town and Opa, Husband and kiddo ate ice cream and ball park dogs.

I would say he had a pretty good vacation. And while I am sure there were times he missed his mommy, I am thrilled that he had that time with his grandparents. I want to make this a tradition every summer. They also want him around Christmas time for a few days to enjoy NYC traditions.

What did I do while they were away? Fixed the handle of the shower in our bathroom that has been loose forever. Took a truck load of stuff to Salvation Army. Enjoyed watching the nature around the house. Took the dog to the vet. Had the sprinklers fixed. Hung some pictures in kiddo's room. Got my hair done and got a pedicure (I LIKE those). Went to be early every night and slept until I was ready to wake up.

Coming Home

2008-08-25T21:18:00.004-05:00

Coming home tonight I saw the roadrunners in the pasture. Two of them ran around Dewey like they were trying to entice him in a game of tag. As I paid closer attention, they noticed and hopped up in the tree. Dewey still seemed oblivious as he screamed at me to let me know he was ready for dinner.

I have not idea where the cartoon folks got their idea of what a roadrunner looks like. Theirs looks more like an ostrich except for the comb on the head. As for the "beep beep", I really don't know. They make a clicking noise sometimes and another noise which escapes me right now.

For the past two days I have been trying to remember the name of an author who used to live in Central Texas. He is British or South African. Google and Amazon are not helping much. He trained horses in England. Wrote travel guides and wrote a book some years ago about living in Africa amongst a tribe. Drives me bonkers when I can't remember something like this. I'll remember it right before I go to sleep and then promptly forget it again.

Okay Universe...are we done yet?

2008-08-22T20:45:00.000-05:00

I am going to layout all the cruddy things that have happened to me this past month or so and then counter it with what I have gotten out of the situation. I am doing this in hopes that the Universe will see that I have gained something and let me off the hook for awhile.

July 19 - got buzzed by a copter while on my horse. I dove off because we we headed for the barn. I was knocked unconscious and have been in pain ever since.

My lesson: I have wonderful friends and neighbors who not hesitate to help out when the times get tough. I had time to relax and slow myself down from the break-neck pace I usually keep. I got my UT class organized and feel very prepared for the Fall semester. Got my body realigned by the chiropractor. Found out from the orthopedic surgeon that my bones are strong and healthy. Got to visit with my sister for a whole week. Got a tasty Eggplant Parmesean from Rachel's sister Becky who makes the best Eggplant Parmesean in the universe.

August 7 - husband out of town for our 9th anniversary.

My lesson: actually I am used to it so it really was not too bad.

August 12 - rear ended an out of towner on Riverside Bridge because she slammed on brakes on wet road for an ambulance that she was not even close to.

My lesson: husband is not as forgiving as I am. I was not hurt, the truck still runs and I don't need to get it fixed. It will still pull a horse trailer. At least I was not in my Subaru which is newer (but whose brakes my have been more reactive).

August 13 - Learn the paper is on the market. Cox no longer wants us. Future seems very uncertain.

My lesson: think about other jobs I can do.

August 15 - Take Daisy to the vet and learn she has a urinary tract infection. $200 later, I take her home.

My Lesson: I am much more in tune with my pets than I used to be. I think I caught this one pretty early. Daisy LOVES wet dog food from Science Diet. She actually pouted when we ran out.

August 16 - Had to cancel a shoot because I can't sit in the car for two hours yet.

My lesson: It can be rescheduled

August 18 - Can drive Subaru again! Unfortunately it has a slow leak in the tire.

My lesson: take care of the tire, filled it up and it seemed fine

August 20 - oops Tire is not fine. Light is on again. Drive car back home and take different car.

My lesson: Make an appointment with dealer for check.

August 21 - take car to Subaru and find out tire has a leak in the sidewall, which cannot be repaired under warranty. Further more, non of the tire places in town have the tire in stock, AND it costs $230 to replace the ONE tire. Cell phone battery is dead and I pray I make it home ok.

My lesson: At least I had less than 15,000 miles so I don't have to get FOUR new tires because the car is all wheel drive. Take the car home and get there in time to see the cute sprinkler guy mulling over our crazy mixed up sprinkler system. Order tire.

Well that about does it. So really....I think I am done Universe. You have taught me some valuable lessons and now it is time to move on. I am healing from the accident. I am trying to be positive and laugh at the craziness of the whole summer.

Tonight I spoke with my mother-in-law who said I should ask my doctor if it will be okay to fly come late September when we are supposed to go to Italy. She was very serious. I am pretty sure we are going first class so I will have many seat positions to choose from, including flat. This may be the icing on the cake. We'll see.

Weird Dream

2008-08-20T10:11:00.000-05:00

Okay so I had this very odd, highly involved dream last night.

My family and I were traveling to some place on the water to go para-sailing. My step-uncle, who is now in his 90's but very cool back in the day, was arranging it. We were on a plane. I was sitting in the front row with a man and his wife next to me. He was an average everyday business man type, with an unremarkable wife.

In the very front of the plane there was this room off to the side where a crazy guy high on crack was put after he freaked out in the main cabin. A blond flight attendant was put in there to watch him. The other flight attendant, a brunette, went in there to check on her and she was making out with the crack guy. Then a male flight attendant came down the aisle calling my name. He handed me a Blackberry type thing and said Don Henley is calling for you (I don't really even like Don Henley). He was wanting to know where we were and how soon we would get there. I texted back and said we were on the way. The man next to me kept trying to see what I was doing. He was practically in my lap.

Then we found out the plane was not going anywhere. We all got off and were on some sort of loading dock/ tarmac sort of area. We were taken by boat across some rough water. My dad handed me the parachutes.

"Parachutes?" I asked him, Why? We are in a boat."

For para-sailing! oh yeah. We docked at a lagoon and were told we would have to take the water bus to the area that was our final destination. The water bus did in fact look like a bus floating on the water. Only there was no way to get to it.

I look and saw a large group of men without shirts, wearing short sarongs, looking very island native-ish. Apparently they were supposed to carry us to the boat/bus. A young, tall, handsome one came to me. He scooped me up in his arms effortlessly. I was carrying a scrapbook and my bathing suit. I was worried that my scrapbook would get wet and be ruined. I held it high above my head as he jumped in the water with me. It did not get wet! AS we swam in the chilly water, I felt the warmth of his body and felt very safe. He decided that we were not going to the boat and that I would stay with him on this island paradise. I woke up feeling happy.

What does this dream mean?

All things Gross

2008-08-19T19:51:00.001-05:00

I know a few things about animals. I actually have a few theories that I have not scientifically proven but I am pretty sure they are so.

I have pictorial evidence on this one (note the very old dead armadillo in the pic). If it smells bad, dogs will eat it or roll in it. Dead animals, horse poop, yucky smelly ponds, dirty diapers....you name it. The tough part is remembering this fact especially when you say to your pup, "Come here and give me a kiss." It must be said in your best baby talk voice of course. Just remember what that dog has been eating. Usually before you snuggle your dog, you can smell if they have been rolling in anything disgusting.

My second theory is about white horses. I think white horses always want to be brown. they roll in the mud every chance they, hoping to fit in. Maybe it is because many white horse start out dark and shed to white. I'll get to prove this one as Dewey grows up.

Rain=Rain Lilies

2008-08-19T19:32:00.000-05:00

One thing about Texas rain is that it brings out rain lilies. They have white and yellow. The yellow are my favorite. When I came home from work tonight, they were all over the front yard waving cheerily. How do they know when it has rained and not just the sprinkler going for hours?

The sprinkler guy was supposed to come last night and fix what he messed up last time. He is extremely handsome but full of excuses. I suspect he relies on his big brown eyes with the long eye lashes to get out of a jam or two. His excuse this time was that one of his managers banged up his knee with a shovel. Maybe so, but now he is coming out Thursday. If we had not had rain, I would have been pissed, no matter how cute his hair looks curling out from under his ball cap.

YAY RAIN!!

2008-08-16T17:58:00.000-05:00

I woke up from my nap to the sound of heavy raindrops on the skylight. Plunk, plunk, platt! It was good to hear. I lay in bed listening for awhile as I tried to determine what time of day it was. Gatsby was whining on the stairs and I remembered that Daisy was outside in the rain. We went downstairs and outside to the porch. The rain let up a bit and Daisy had been hiding under the shrubs.

I let her in and Gatsby and I went outside to enjoy the rain. I decided to clean the tack/feed room. Gatsby, who is afraid of the weather followed me closely. As I knocked down the mud wasp nest and swept up the lizard eggs, the wind picked up. Really started blowing hard. Gatsby could not decide whether to stay or run back to the house. I let him go but shut the door and thought I would wait it out.

The lightning flashed and the thunder roared. I was so happy we have not had rain for so long. Neighbor Kellie was just saying this morning that it was strange to go through a whole summer without a thunderstorm. At the time I had hoped she had not jinxed us. I told her non-husband David to do a rain dance. He must have.

I dashed back to the house, getting thoroughly soaked. What a wonderful feeling! I laughed as I climbed the stairs to get into dry clothes.

Later I went to the porch to see the wind had rearranged the furniture. The rain even blew in on the screened porch to water the lime and lemon trees.

It is still raining two hours later.

Olympic Waterpolo

2008-08-16T12:42:00.000-05:00

Olympic water polo is on TV. I think part of Croatia's uniform is the mustache. Even the coach has one! I wonder why the players have to wear the bonnets with the ear guards. Rugby is a rougher sport and they don't wear helmets or bonnets. I find it extremely distracting. I can't enjoy the beauty of the sport because of them.

Also why do they wear little swim suits? Why not the long swim suits the swimmer are wearing?

The cool thing is that these guys basically have normal bodies. Not hyper cut like the other athletes. You can tell they enjoy a beer or five. Although the announcer just said that water polo players have the best bodies based on the fact that a sculptor chose Terry Schroeder for a generic Oly statue for the 1984 games. That WAS 1984 though.

How does a guy decide that water polo is the sport for him? Growing up on the east coast we never played it. I certainly have not noticed it in Texas. NBC.com even has a link to water polo plays of the day.

Oops USA just upset Croatia. Guess the mustaches did not help.

Our Drought

2008-08-15T21:21:00.000-05:00

It has been so dry here. The grass is crispy, the trees are losing their leaves and I am praying that no one gets stupid with matches. I am watering the trees but it has not seemed to help. I was using the sprinkler but now I am just using water directly from the hose at the roots of the trees. I hope they are just going into emergency distress and defoliating not dying.

I hobbled back to the back yard to have a look at a cross rail to the fence that needed to be put back into the post. We have the plastic fencing and I think since Dewey is still a stud colt, I need to make sure he has no escape routes. So anyway I grab the cross rail and see something move inside. A bright green tree frog has decided that this is a good cool place to hang. I decide to let him have his home and I will put the cross rail back later.

Soon Dewey was at the fence wanting attention. Daisy came out to herd him and Gatsby was hanging around being a golden retriever, not bred for intelligence. Daisy and Dewey played a bit and I looked over to see Gatsby eating cherry tomatoes off the plant. Just a little snack before dinner.

The main vegetable garden is dead but the plants that I put in the regular flower beds get watered by our sprinkler system. So the peppers and tomatoes are thriving. I just need to pick them once in awhile.

I am going to give the lawn a good "rip" tomorrow. The blades on the rider mower are not quite sharp enough to actually cut. We need to take the deck off and take it in the have the blades sharpened. We could just take the deck off but that may cause WWIII trying t get it back on.

Mind Blowing Announcement

2008-08-13T19:32:00.000-05:00

I spent the morning doing errands, seeing doctors etc. I stopped for lunch at the sandwich shop across from work and saw some coworkers there. Having not been at work yet, I asked how the day was going.

"You didn't see your email?" one asked.

Uh no. I did not answer but looked confused.

"We have a MANDATORY staff meeting at 2pm," the other added.

Seems like the universe has not wanted me to go into work lately. Was this the third THING? Buy-outs? Lay-offs? Is it time to choose career number two?

Back at the office we discussed the pros and cons of being a plumber vs. being an air conditioner repair person. Raw sewage vs. 150 degree attics. We all thought raw sewage would be more manageable.

The office began to fill up with staff, all staff from community newspapers as well as our regular editorial staff. There was a nervous buzz around. Finally the publisher, who is set to retire at the end of the month came down. He looked tired and had lost much weight. He may be battling a serious illness. He began to read a letter written by the head of Cox Enterprises.
" Cox enterprises plans to put the Austin American-Statesman, and the community newspapers in Texas and North Carolina up for sale."

WHOA! did not expect that. The was shock amongst the younger employees and panic from the older ones. Pretty bad time to put a newspaper up for sale. We'll see what happens. I wish I had the money to buy the Bastrop Advertiser so I could have my own newspaper to run like I think it should be. With my luck Gannett will probably buy it and I will have to work for them again.
For now, we keep doing our jobs, let things sink in and consider a "plan B".

Leaving the building tonight, one friend who usually has a positive frame of mind and a cool head, turned to me and said " I feel like I've been bitch-slapped."

ARGHHHH

2008-08-12T18:59:00.001-05:00

Okay, this is going to sound unbelievable but this morning, on the way into work, 5 minutes from work in fact, I rear ended a car. We were going through a green light over a bridge when the car in front of me slammed on her brakes because she saw an ambulance approaching from the access road on the right. The ambulance was not really near the intersection but she stopped. Unfortunately for me, I tried to brake but ended up sliding into her on the wet road. We moved the cars and made sure we were all right.

An ambulance and fire engine came. the fire engine stopped but left when they saw we were fine. The ambulance stopped, we signed papers saying we refused treatment. I could have sworn it was the same ambulance that caused the accident in the first place but thought it would be crass to ask.

Poor girls were in a rental car on the way to a meeting about starting a business in Austin. They were from New Orleans. We exchanged info. We waited for a policeman. They didn't their car was drivable because the muffler was hanging a bit. The handsome officer got there and looked over our situation. I told what the deal was. He gave me a case paper and checked to see that I had gotten and given all the right info to the other driver.

My truck was mushed in front but ran fine. In fact, the impact may have made my back loosen up a bit. We will see tomorrow.

I am now nervously waiting for the third bad thing to happen. Things always seem to come in threes. Fired from my job? divorce? lame horse? cat puking fit all over the white carpet? okay so some of those are not as serious as others but it still worries me. Positive energy, I need positive energy. Good karma....I need to do some good to turn things around.

OR maybe the universe is simply trying to keep me from going to work. I wonder, what is the other thing that my authentic self is supposed to be doing?

Almost Four is Fun

2008-08-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

Having a four year old is as much fun as it can be frustrating but you really have to enjoy the fun part and try to ignore the times when the kiddo pushes those buttons.

My sister left today after being here a week to help me. Man, it was great to have her here. Jake loved her, the dogs really loved her and I am sure if the cats were able to come downstairs without being eaten by the dogs, they would have loved her too.

Last night she gave him a bath and they had a huge pillow fight. He was pretty worn out. To hear them laugh together made me laugh. She bought him a Spiderman costume at Wal-mart that he LOVED. I think he wants to wear it to his birthday party.

He is such a little parrot too. He picks up the smallest expressions and then uses them when you least expect it. He loves saying "Actually". It cracks me up. " Actually mommy, this grape looks like a squash."

Lately the house has become a spaceship or a regular ship and we have to take our seats before we can go anywhere. The imagination is huge. I love lying in bed in the morning listening to him play in his room. Tonight at dinner we had to all sing the Multiplication Rock song for Three.
"Mommy you sing!
"3, 6, 9"
"Daddy now you!"
"12, 15, 18"
We both look at the kiddo and he sings "21, 24, 27....30!"

My wild garden

2008-08-09T19:41:00.000-05:00

My garden is desperately overgrown. The grasses have invaded the beds and the vegetables need picking. I might add that is is had been over 100 degrees for weeks now and the only time to be doing yard work is in the early morning or evening.

The wildlife seems to like it though. This morning two cardinals were playing among the weeds. I wonder what they are finding to eat but it looked like they were chasing bugs. They are fun to watch as they dart in and out of the overgrown roses.

The rabbits snack in the evening and early morning too. They venture in to the yard when they know the dogs are in the house. We have such fat bunnies. I can't help but think it is too bad that we don't eat them. I can't imagine skinning them but I am sure I would not mind trying them.

Come Fall I will take my tiller and stir up the earth. I will add horse manure to try and enrich the clay based soil. I will wait until the rains come again to pull the weeds. They will be huge by that time and I hope they do not seed. My plan will be to forget the plants I love. I will try to be more practical and put more natives in. My rock rose is doing so well I should put more of that in. I will keep my antique roses but I am going to try and fill the garden with natives so the weeds cannot sneak in again. Functional and beautiful. That is my aim. I wish in these past three weeks I had been able to weed or do yard work. I feel so very useless.

No Pain Meds=No Sleep

2008-08-09T08:15:00.000-05:00

It has been three days with out pain meds. I have been taking the super strength Ibufrofen but that honestly has not been making much difference. I was taking hydrocondone. It helped me sleep, that's about it. It dulled the pain enough to sleep.

I ran out so I called the pharmacy for a refill. They are supposed to fax it to my doctor. I called the doctor to let them know it was coming. I called the pharmacy to see if they had faxed it, nope but they would do it right away. It was too late in the day to call the doctor back. The next day, I called the pharmacy to see if the doctor responded. NO. I called the doctor and they said they didn't get a fax. I got a call from the doc's office who asked me if I had made an appointment with a back specialist. " I asked you for names of specialists and physical therapists last week," I told them.

" You did?" they seemed surprised. " Well make an appointment with the back specialist we recommend and we will take care of the pain meds. Call us back to let us know when your appointment is."

So, frustrated and annoyed I call the back doctor. I have to pay out of pocket because they do not take me insurance. If I submit the bill my insurance will pay 80% though. I make the appointment. I call my doctor back and let them know I made it. They assure me they will take care of the prescription.

I call the pharmacy. Nope, they have not heard from my doctor. Doctor's office has not heard from the pharmacy. This is getting insane. I have given up. I am currently self medicating with Jack Daniels before bed. It is not as effective but at least I can get a few hours of sleep.

I am going to give it one last try today at the pharmacy and if the prescription is not there, I am canceling the very expensive back doctor appointment that I feel blackmailed into making anyway. I HAVE been seeing the chiropractor who is a back specialist as well. He has never failed me in the 8 or so years I have been seeing him. I hate being in pain but what I hate more is feeling like I am not being taken seriously or listened to.

I hope I can get a good long nap today.

Some planet must be in retrograde

2008-08-07T16:30:00.000-05:00

This has been a tough summer for most of my friends. Injuries to humans and pets, money troubles, not getting "sure-thing" jobs, break-ups and fights. Something powerful be in retrograde. I thought perhaps Saturn but on further inspection, I saw that is is actually Neptune and Pluto. But Saturn is the big nasty planet according to astrological sources. I do wish I had an idea.

Who knows? I am an Aries with a Cancer moon. That give me my domestic edge. Rising sign is Leo which I would think would give me strength and self confidence. My other match-ups are Venus/Aries, Mercury/Aries, Mars/Virgo, Jupiter/Taurus, Saturn/Pisces, Uranus/Virgo, Neptune/Scorpio and Pluto/Virgo. Now really, I have no idea what any of that means. If anyone has a clue, I would love enlightenment.

View from the couch...squash bug is finally off the screen on the porch. No grasshoppers either. I think our fat lizards are getting some good eats. The lemon trees are thriving on the porch since I remember to water them there and the grasshoppers cannot eat the leaves. I had to wipe all the scale off the lime tree. That seems to have revived it a little bit. Someday I would like to plant them outside but for now I htink the pots are best.

I did see one of our roadrunners with a snake in his mouth yesterday morning. I hope it was a copperhead baby not a simple garden snake. I have not seen any deer lately. Wonder if the neighborhood cougar has been eating them or if they simply at staying closer to the river.

The grass is crunchy. I am having my sister move the sprinkler around the trees so they can have a drink. I am worried that the foundation of the house is going to crack with how dry it has been, especially the new addition. Even the sprinklers don't seem to be putting out as much water as I thought would keep the lawn green. I wish I could check them all but that is a bit too much mobility for me at this point, our garage where the controls are is like an obstacle course. More on the garage later....I shudder thinking about it.