Friday, February 27, 2009

The Will is Strong but the Body is Weak

I want to finish my children's story about the cleanly cockroach but I am so tired. I have been dealing with a bout of insomnia lately. I suspect it is due to the fact that newspapers are closing left and right and I am really not sure what my future holds in the biz. That and the fact that hubby has been on the road for over a week so I have house and kid duties solo.

I am not complaining but I really just would love to be home in the afternoon alone taking a long luxurious nap. The kind where the windows are open and the breeze is making the curtains blow gently. The kind where you wake up and then float gently beck to sleep. You sleep HARD and wake up not quite knowing where you are or what time of day it is. What a dream. what a dream.

Tonight kiddo is sleeping over at his best friend's house. This would be the perfect opportunity to go out with my girlfriends. Hubby is encouraging that. Honestly I just want to be home. I want to rest and I want to be home in case he needs to be picked up at 2am because he is inconsolable. It is not his first sleepover but it is the first one at this friend's house.

Too bad I do not have a personal chef, masseuse, manicurist and stylist. I would do a SPOIL ME night at home. I can be my own chef, manicurist and stylist. I am coming up short on masseuse though.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My version of a children's Book pt 1

I came downstairs this morning and saw the muddy paw prints the dogs tracked in yesterday, some dishes in the sink, toys all over the playroom and thought it would be cool if someone would come in while I was sleeping and clean the house. Silently of course, so we would not wake up. That is when my idea for a children's book popped into my head.

The Cleanly Cockroaches

Henry with his mommy and daddy, a dog named Wuzzle and two cats named Tic and Tac. Henry loved all living creatures. He loved his pets. He loved with birds that sang outside his window in the morning. He loved the bunnies that ate his momma's garden. He even loved snakes and crawly things. But Henry's favorite things were BUGS. He never smushed a spider. He never stamped on ant hills.

One day Henry heard his mommy scream "ew!! A bug!!!!" Henry raced to the kitchen to see his mommy pointing at the floor. There on the floor was a palmetto bug, otherwise known as a cockroach. "Get it Henry!!" screamed his mommy. Henry moved quickly and trapped the bug under a glass and took it outside.

"Thank you," said a tiny voice.

Henry looked around but did not see anyone there.

"Down here! My name is Polly Palmetto and I want to thank you for not smashing me flat as a pancake. Now I can go back to my family," said Polly

Henry had never heard a bug talk but answered, "you're welcome"

"Maybe I can help you someday," said Polly.

"I don't see how. You are so small!" said Henry

"Ahh yes but I have a VERY large family and when we all work together, we can get almost anything done"

"Well be careful and don't let my mom see you in the house again. Daddy WOULD have smushed you if he was home."

"We'll be careful. Thanks for the warning. We'll only come around at night." said Polly as she scuttled away.

To be continued.............

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Weekend full of Gardening


I adore busy weekends. They have to be be busy on my terms though. Okay, so I am selfish but I get things done.

It was beautiful so I decided to tackle some of the gardening. I got out my nifty tiller and decided just to till under several beds, whether they had perennials in them already or not. Only the strong survive!! I plan to get some old horse poop from the pasture and till that in next weekend. My goal is to get that clay transformed to beautiful soil.
I trimmed the roses, which is a bit late, but better later than scraggly. I left the climbers and super bloomers alone because they seem to do will without my help. Mrs. BR Cant has so many thorns anyway that I am sure she will take over the garage wall eventually. The wildlife love her, she protects them from Gatsby the killer golden.
The volunteer vitex by the front porch got a new home. I put in on the side of the driveway where an old mesquite fell down a couple years ago. As the vitex grows, it will help shield the horse trailer I plan to park at the end of the driveway. The neighborhood covenants say no trailers visible from the street and hubby is beginning to get irked that it is in the driveway behind the house. It does make it challenging to get the riding mower out.
I am finally getting the sand delivered tomorrow for kiddo's sandbox in the back. I did a dry stack of stones that we got from a neighbor's deconstructed patio and wall. I put heavy duty week block down and we'll put the sand on top of that. I suspect that will be my main project this coming weekend. As Kiddo gets older and tired of the sandbox, my 6X9 rectangle will make a wonderful kitchen garden! It is right next to the rain barrel too so watering will be easy.

I hope I get it done before my friend comes over with her kids for a play date! We could always saddle up Bailey and do pony rides. Next weekend, I will remember sunscreen.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Life with a 4 Year Old

I post this blog from kiddo's bed because he insists that he is scared without me here. I know it is pure manipulation but the alternative is listening to him cry and whine for me at the top of the stairs for an hour before he finally conks out or I give in. This way, I know he will be out in about 10 minutes and I can go about my business.

This morning on the way to pre-school he was full of questions. Why are poo and pee disgusting? What are germs? What do they look like? What do kid germs look like? Are the green squiggly worms? What do grown up germs look like? Do angels have germs? What are angels made of? Why do they fly? Why do they like flying better than walking? Why can't they just drive a car? That is what I would rather do. And so it goes....I feel like I am a bad parent if I don't try to answer his questions. I am sure that if I had another kid I would tune them both out and be in my own world on a car trip...or I would be yelling at them to quit whatever it was they were up to.

It takes some concentration to navigate rush hour traffic and then more to answer the questions being fired at me from the brainiac in the back. I am so in need of quiet after I drop him off. I often ride to work in silence. The newsroom is also quiet at 8:30am. I need it.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hey! No Hay.

The drought has hit Central Texas pretty hard. HAving horses, this always freaks me out because I am worried about getting hay. My usual source (who is also the neighborhood source thanks to my big mouth) can't grow it because of the no rain issue. The feed stores are up to $9/bale (I remember when I was getting it in the field for $2.50/bale 5 years ago). There just does not seem to be affordable coastal horse hay anywhere. I bought 40 bales of tifton from a source who had to get rid of it because he is moving. The horses took a few days to get used to it but they are eating it now. They get alfalfa trucked in from New Mexico when I can get it. They only get that once a day. It costs $21-23/bale for a bale that is $110 pounds. I can make that last a week or so with the 3 horses.

They take longer eating the tifton so they are not eating the trees as much. That, in and of itself, is another issue. The horses strip the bark off the trees and then you lose your good shade trees. I want to shout at them, "Hey dummies! You are going to kill your shade and in the 104 degree weather you will be really sorry!" I strategically wrapped a bunch of them with chicken wire so the horses could not get to the bark. The wire is fairly invisible to the causal passerby. There are still the trees they will be killing but then I will have some firewood and a sunny area for more grass to grow in the front pasture.

They are banned from the front pasture now because the rye is starting to come up from the 2 days of damp weather we finally have had. It should last until May once it comes up if I am careful to keep them off it. When I think back to how much grass we had before the horses and how often I had to cut it, I can hardly believe that it is gone. Part of me wishes we had fenced the front yard so we would never have to mow that as well (that is about 250 yards square).

Such is residential farm life. I would not trade it for city condo life at all.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Sahil's Lessons

I really would not say which one of us gets the most from the lessons, Sahil or me.

Sahil is an Arabian. Arabians have the reputation of being wild and high strung often choosing flight over fight. I have experienced the flight when the helicopter buzzed the facility where I have my lessons. Since then, I have had this in the back of my mind, worried that he would do it again over something I would not expect.

Here is the truth that I have learned since the fall. Sahil is not spooky. I walked him up to an open trash bin. Most horses would dance around it and pretend they thought the trash bin was going to eat them. Sahil walked up to it and put his head in it. Plastic grocery bags also freak out many horses when the blow in the wind and get stuck on trees. I led Sahil up to one and he sniffed it then picked it up in his teeth and shook it a bit. He is sweet, smart and curious.

So Sunday when I led him down to the neighbor's house for my lesson, I was not bothered by the wind picking up (it has been really windy my last 3 lessons). I was not worried by the 4 yr olds running along in front of us (kiddo and his best friend were along and Sahil wanted to run with them). I was not even concerned about all the horses along the way who wanted to greet Sahil (I let him have a little touchy feely nose time with them).

I DID have a problem with the Tyvec wrap that was blowing off the house under construction next door to my neighbor's round pen. It was so loud. Picture being on the beach with huge waves crashing constantly on the shore. I thought for sure Sahil was going to freak.

As it turned out, I was the only one worried. He could not have cared less. He was more concerned with what the other horses were doing in the pasture. We kept him busy and thinking during the lesson and he was fine. We trotted and did well. The confidence in each other is building. He is going to be a wonderful horse to trail ride on. His movement is smooth and elegant so he will also be good in the dressage arena. Not bad for an ugly little runty throw away. He is truly the ugly duckling that has turned in to a swan.

Monday, February 16, 2009

creationsim vs. evolution

I know creationists must have an answer for this but the question I have always wanted to ask is "How do we know a Genesis day is the same time as a B.C. day or a A.D. day or what? Why couldn't a Genesis day have been 10,000 years or such?"

If you thought outside the box a bit and understand that the Bible is a collection of stories told to someone, think how many mistakes there can be! How many interpretations of the story told to them. It all depends on the interpreter's view.

The other day I said "Nell is wearing my cleverly patched shirt that the dog ripped last week, while trying to eat the cat."

Now what I meant was that the dog was trying to eat the cat, not me. But the way it was said left some question over who was trying to eat the cat.

For that matter, how many times has a woman said something to a man that was completely misinterpreted or vise versa? If God is a woman, and the Bible was written my men...well you get my drift.

All in the matter of interpretation. I, for one, believe that Adam and Eve came after the dinosaurs. I still think of myself as a Christian.

Anyone else have a take on this?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Oooohhh the Light!



The sunrise is one of the simple pleasures I enjoy in the morning. I try to wait to feed the horses until the sun is rising so I can see the sunrise. My favorite ones are when the clouds turn pink and are rimmed with gray. I try to remember my art history education to think which painter painted these sorts of clouds. Then I try to identify how many colors I actually see instead of what common sense tells me I should be seeing. I do this with kiddo too. I ask him to name every color he sees during a sunrise or sunset. I try very hard not to negate anything he says. it is subjective and I want him to see what he sees.

We see the sunset from the front porch. Sometimes it looks better from the bedroom because we can see over the tree tops. I love right before the sun sinks in the horizon. The light is golden and it filters through the trees in shimmery beams. I can see the light dancing off the wings of the insects buzzing in the pasture. The horses are rimmed in the light as they lazily swish their tails at the flies. I want to play in this light. I want to capture it in a photo. I want to hold onto those moments in that light that bring me such peace. As the sun disappears, the sky turns orangey red. It is almost angry compared to the sweet, golden light from just moments before. I still love the intense color and the way the blue sky become purple peaking through the magenta clouds.

Late at night the stars are thick in the sky. There is not much light pollution so we can sit in the Adirondack chairs on the front lawn with a drink and just stare at the sky. Sometimes I am treated to a shooting star. I feel lucky those nights.

VALENTINE'S DAY


My colleagues are complaining about how much they HATE Valentine's Day. Too much pressure whether you are married, involved or not.

Back in the day, I used to go all out. I made hubby hand painted heart boxers, cookies, and got a card or two. This was before we were married. After we got married, it was a baked something special and a card or two. He used to get me flowers. He even sent me flowers when I was in Norway working the winter Olympics. All the men hated him. After we moved into the house, I asked him to give me live roses that I could plant in the garden. He did this for a few years and then seemed to forget about it.

This year I had time to do something nice for him. I made cookies Thursday for kiddo's class and made two HUGE cookies for the guys. I got hubby a couple of cards, almond clusters and a chocolate mixer to make chocolate martinis.

I honestly was worried that I would be disappointed but I was not. They guys let me sleep in. I didn't even know kiddo was up. They made breakfast for me and brought it up to me in be complete with a rose on the tray. Very sweet. Kiddo wanted to hang out and eat with me while we watched his TV shows.

No matter what your relationship status is, I think Valentine's Day should be important. It should be the day you remember to tell someone you love them. How nice would it be if we heard that from our friends, and family more often? I don't do it enough, I know. Why is it so hard? We should just give love without expecting it in return. It will come. We need to get over our fear of rejection. I believe that you get what you give. To quote Todd Rundgren, "Love is the answer". Listen to that song if you have not heard it. Very wise.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Depressed Mall

I went to the mall today. Now those who do not know me may say "Big deal, everyone goes to the mall."

I don't.

I do not like to shop, much less in a mall. I get claustrophobic among all that consumerism. So why did I go today? I was having my car workd on and the garage is right by the mall. So rather than sit in the waiting room with the 5 very angry looking people there, I headed over to the mall to see what I have been missing.

I walked in a non-anchor store entrance, passed two photo studios and a nail salon. I briefly though of getting a manicure but the idea of a mall manicure did not seem hygenic for some reason. I eased myself in to shopping by going into Macy's. I feel comfortable there. I worked at Macy's in high school and college when it was Bamberger's.

There were sales everywhere. Not that I need anything but all the sales made me think I should need something. I bought two mock turtlenecks for $6 each and felt good about that. I always need a good turtleneck (I am beginning to become Diane Keaton. She always wears turtlenecks). I did not go into the men's dept. Hubby likes to buy his own clothes and I never seem to get it right. Passed on the boy's dept. too. The in-laws buy kiddo the cutest clothes. Why should I shell out the bucks?

Bored, I headed out into the depths of malldom. I looked at the stores but could not see any reason to go inside. The kiosk vendors varied from looking hopeful to bored. I also could not see a need for any of their products. Feeling very old lady-ish, I went into Hallmark. Got some Valentine's stuff for hubby and found a sale rack with cool stuff. I got some neat Christmas gifts that I will stow away.

I walked the whole mall. There were stores that had closed, stores that were going out of business and ones that were empty except salespeople trying very hard to look busy. I am happy they have jobs and I hope they can keep them. I just cannot find any reason to even walk into 90% of those stores. When I was a teenager, I did. My love affair with the mall died sometime in my twenties.

Luckily the car was done in just over an hour. I picked it up and happily drove home to play outside.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Jake says....

Some gems from my son's mouth last year.....

Jake has decided that there is another side to Santa. “I want Santa to take my bed.” “I want Santa to take my shirts with snaps, sweaters and jackets.” What will Santa do with Jake’s things? Who knows.

Oma brought Jake 101 Dalmations, the original animated version. It has quickly become a favorite. We get requests daily to watch “the domination puppies”.

“Mommy I don’t like you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I only like you on Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays.” Jake was mad at me because I didn’t bring him a treat after school.

Jake has learned to use the potty. He was in the bathroom a long time last night so when Daddy went to check on him he said "You need to do me some privacy."

One cold morning Jake wanted to wear shorts. Dad explained that he needed to wear long pants or he would freeze his patootie off. Jake won the battle and when Mom picked him up from day care, he proudly announced ‘Look Mom, I still have my patootie!”

Drawing letters with Daddy, Jake decides that an H is a straight A.

Mommy how do you “smell” the word XXXX? I keep telling him it is SMELL

Imaginary friends are Friendship, Fabio and Hardboil. More friends come later Heart and Pinefapple. I think Friendship is his favorite.

5/29 Riding into school this morning Jake sees a man on a motorcycle all decked out in leather, goatee, grizzled face and says “Look mom, a pirate on a motorcycle!”

“I don’t know Jake”
“Ya gotta know!”
“NO I don’t!”
“No, Tell ME now!”

Trying to find a park for a playdate Jake says “I know where it is. I am 4, I know everything.”

After making a fuss about coming with mommy to early vote, Jake decides he likes it as we leave he says “ Mommy, I’m sad.” “ Why, honey?” “ I am sad because we are done voting.” This drew a chuckle from a passerby.

Jake’s birthday we decided to have 2 parties, a friend party and a family party on the real day. Friday night before the party, he is misbehaving so we discuss the possibility with him of being good or canceling the party. He thinks about it for a minute and says “ I want to be bad and we can cancel the family party.”

Hot lava = “Hotverlava”

“Daddy, What is a Barack Obama?”

Intramatic = automatic

Dyna coke = diet coke

Daddy was talking to a woman friend on his cell. Jake heard a woman’s voice and sad “I wanna talk to momma!” Daddy went on talking and Jake repeated himself louder. Daddy told him it was not momma on the phone. Jake said under his breath but loud enough for Daddy to hear “Stupid old Daddy”

Co-pilot = go-pilot

I can't wait to see what 2009 brings.

My Ipod

This morning driving into work, I noticed my Ipod had a theme going. I have no idea how the "shuffle" feature works but sometimes it does seem to have a common thread. Some days it is classical guitar, other days it plays songs that remind me of one person, today the theme was weather, nature or something like that.

The first tune I settled on was Shotgun Down the Avalanche, by Shawn Colvin. I love this song. It is angry, resigned and real, using nature as the metaphor. Then came a song about the seasons from XTC. El Paso from The Gourds and they talk about a tornado out on the desert. I was hoping for Over the Waterfall by Robert Earl Keen but I didn't get it. I got into work first.

I still am curious how shuffle does work. Maybe it is because you have chosen all your songs so you can find a theme in anything, however, about 1/3 of my tunes were lifted from a friend so I could fill up my tunes list quickly. U2 was dominating the other day and I realized that I have outgrown many of their songs. I also had to get over my guilt of deleting some Johnny Cash songs. I kept them for so long because he is a classic but I just do not like very much of his music. It sounds the same to me.

I am now unapologetically downloading my faves from the 70's.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Simplify

I've been contemplating getting rid of things and making money at the same time. I have tons of kiddo's old things that we bought with the idea of being able to re-sell it. When i brought it up with hubby though, he though it would be best just to give it away to someone in need.

I'll admit, I have done that with many of kiddo's old clothes. Our housekeeper takes them to Mexico and I feel like they are getting another chance to make someone happy. BUT the idea of making a little extra money for a rainy day appeals to my frugality.

The big choice is Craig's List or Ebay? I have been thinking that Craig's list may be best for large items and Ebay for the small. I really have no desire to ship a pac 'n play to Ohio. Friends have been giving me strategies for selling clothes. They say to sell in lots with some designer stuff included s bait. Kiddo certainly has plenty of that that he has outgrown.

I think I can organize this in a weekend. It seems to be much easier than a garage sale. That would take me weeks to get things together.

Now how about those things in closets that I have not used in a year or so.........

Monday, February 2, 2009

25 Random Things

So Facebook has the thing going around now bout 25 Random Things about yourself. I did mine in a bit of a rush while at work and then improved upon them at home later. Since then, I keep thinking of other random things I should have put down that most people would not know.

1. My name and middle name are a combo of my grandmothers' middle names

2. I spent 2 weeks in Moscow and Leningrad in College, rooming with our Russian guide.

3. I was in a Big Audio Dynamite video

4. After I spent 2 days photographing the Soap Opera bus tour in Washington DC who were visiting the White House, All My Children soon after created a photographer character named Nell.

5. I have been riding off and one since I was in college but owned my first horse when I was 34.

6. I like fruity beers

7. have fallen off the same horse more than 20 times.

8. drove myself to the hospital in a truck with manual transmission with a separated shoulder.

9. had to have my ears re-pierced because they ripped the first time while taking off a sweater.

10. only kissed my first boyfriend 3 years after he was my boyfriend.

11. heard a ghost or a spirit when I was 11 say "I love you, Nell". I was wide awake and thought it was my dad.

12. used to play archeologist in our yard which was a dump for a 19th century mansion.

13. used to sunbathe on the garage roof, the only place that had any sun at our house.

14. tried to nurse many baby squirrels into adulthood as a kid. We had quite the cemetery in the woods.

15. wanted to try out for cheerleading but did not think I was pretty or thin enough.

16. played field hockey but hated running so I got an after school job instead.

17. learned how to drive stick shift in an orange mustang.

18. I find hockey thugs attractive

19. I have been asked out by a pro baseball player. I said no.

20. was the co-lead singer in a high school rock band

21. cannot watch bloody horror flicks, or bloody action flicks but used to be the one to pick gravel out of legs after bike falls.

22. do not ever want to move from my current home

23. want to paint my truck pale, the very palest of pale, pink.

24. want to learn to play the drums.

25. miss old fashioned photography, developing etc.