Wednesday, May 28, 2008

How nice is nice?

I left to go to the gym on my lunch break today. The lot was full and I saw an older employee looking for a spot. As I pulled out, I let him know where I had just left from so he could get my primo spot. He was grateful.

That got me thinking about what makes a person a good person. I get sad sometimes thinking about all the things I should be doing to make the world a better place. All those people as busy as I am who start non-profits and travel to parts unknown to do good work make me think I should be doing more.

But then I thought about how we know nothing about their personal lives. That person could be a terrible neighbor who plays music loud at all hours of the night. They could stay seated when they see an older person who needs the seat more. They may not call friends back when they know the friend needs help. Little things but still make a person good.

So who is better, the person who gives millions of dollars to charity but is lousy to their family and friends or the person who may not give away money or time but is a good thoughtful person on a daily basis? Does it matter? Do we need both in the world for balance? I know that loving one another is the answer for a better life. I don't give money to charity on a regular basis but when my best friend needs me to pay a bill or two of hers I am happy to help.

I think it is better to do a little good everyday than a huge good once in awhile. I'll bet the guy who gave out $100 bills at Christmas time to people on the street and at bus stations was a good person all the time. He could have made a large gift and gotten his name on something but that didn't seem like his style.

Maybe someday I will give out money on the street but until then I'll help when I can and hope that people remember me as a nice and good hearted person.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Too polite to potty

My sisters and I are convinced that we grew up being too polite. We were taught to always think of others and how what we do affects others. I really think it is wonderful to have that awareness but it is not universal.

I was thinking of this as I sat in the stall of the ladies room at work waiting until the room was empty until I did my business. I am sure it is not healthy to hold it and it can be painful but I don't want to impose my bodily functions upon others. My son is very comfortable with me being in the bathroom while he does his thing. He has been known to ask his dad " Daddy, do me some privacy please". I want him to be comfortable with his bodily functions and to realize that it is natural and everyone does it.

As I was sitting, waiting for the person in the first stall with the jingley bracelets to finish up, I thought back to a guy I knew some years ago. He worked with me at the Nation's newspaper. He was very comfortable with himself. He would fart in public and not be one bit embarrassed. The rest of us would crack up and make snide remarks. Looking back, I realize that he was more enlightened than we were. He ended up dying by falling off a mountain in France. No really. He disappeared while on a walk with his wife. They didn't find him for the longest time. Coworkers joked that he was abducted by aliens and that he would walk in the office one day as if nothing ever happened. He was found about 2 years later by a man hiking on the mountain with his dog. We were sad and disappointed that he in fact was mortal.

Not that I really want to fart in public, but I would like to be comfortable with the fact that my body is normal and functions like everyone else's and that waste being eliminated is nothing to be ashamed of. I just want to go when I have to go! It may be too late for me but at least I can work on my son.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Can't go back

I am sitting here at work and I glance up at one of the many TV's in the office. We are tuned in to some morning show and I see some guys in their 30's sining and dancing for a crowd of crazed suburban mom types. I watch a bit more to see that these guys are "New Kids on the Block", the boy band from years ago attempting a comeback. I am disdainful yet intrigued. Why do these women regress and act like teen agers at the sight of these guys all grown up whose careers went other directions than the stars they were when they were teens? I wonder if there is anything that would make me feel that way. I am not sure there ever was anything that ever made me feel that way when I was a teenager.

I do remember when I was a preteen and my favorite radio station made a huge announcement that it was going off the air. I was heartbroken. I cried, I prayed to God to keep the station alive. I was passionate about this. Then I found out it was all a publicity stunt. Instead of being happy, I was very angry. How could they do this to me? They toyed with my emotions. I think this affected my ability to ever get so passionate about anything again. Well, except for real live boys that I knew. I never went crazy for a band, movie star or cause after the radio station fake out.

So back to the "New Kids on the Block" who now should be called the "Thirty Somethings in Lofts". I see this comeback thing happening more and more. Sure the Stones and the Who have been around for ages but they never stopped. Debbie Gibson went on to other things, will she try and make a comeback? What about Tiffany? I don't think their fans would be as rabid as these ladies I saw on TV today. Maybe being a journalist and actually having contact with celebs has jaded me too. I met Def Leppard about 15 years ago at the beginning of their decline (we didn't know that then). I was struck at how small they were, pale and pasty too. Nice for the most part except Joe Elliot who was in a bad mood. We went to the after show party which was extremely tame by rock and roll standards.

I guess I don't believe in nostalgic comebacks. I believe that we all put our pants on one legs at a time. I believe that while some folks have magnetic personalities and a larger than life presence, they are just like you and me.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Morning Storms

Yesterday the alarm went off at 4:30 am, husband was determined to get out for a run before he had to go out of town. I heard him get ready and went back to sleep. A few minutes later I popped awake to the sound of our 90 lb golden retriever whining. It was his "I see lightning and I want you to hold me" whine. He does not mind thunder, just lightning. I rolled out of bed, went downstairs and put him in the mudroom with his doggy girlfriend , our fearless border collie. The rawhide I then slipped to him kept him pretty quiet. As I trudged back upstairs, I noticed the weather and wondered when husband had left for his run. The storm looked like it was getting close. I slipped into bed, heard the wind kick up and the thunder rumble.

My imagination started going into high gear....were was husband. Is he out there in the storm? Should I leave son in bed and try to go find husband in the car? Would husband stand under shelter if the lightning got too bad or would he run home in it? He would not take the chance of disturbing neighbors for his safety. Would an early rising neighbor give him a lift home? Would anyone stop if they saw his charred smoking body on the side of the road? Would anyone find him if he were struck by lightning?

All of these thoughts rambles through my head until I head the front door quietly open and close. Thank God. He stripping his wet clothes off and came up stairs. I opened one eye and said "I was worried about you". He laughed and replied that it was just a little thunder and lightning. He then not so quietly packed for his trip as I tried to squeeze in 30 minutes more sleep.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mother's day. We eat.

I went to my parents in Virginia for Mother's Day. Husband and son were already there. My sister came down from Maryland with her adult daughter as well.

What did we do?

We ate. Strange how when we get together the activities for the day (or lack of) revolve around eating.

Saturday night my mom made a family favorite with hamburger, beans, potatoes and bacon. Husband and I went out for sushi. We found a smallish restaurant called Ichiban that was not a chain. It served sushi, Chinese and Thai food. Although, with the caliber of sushi that we sampled, I could not see why you would waste calories on something so pedestrian as Kung Pao Chicken. After 2 saki cosmopolitans and a number of taste rolls (rainbow, spider, volcano and the house roll), we left with just enough room for dessert.

We crossed the street and The Chocolatier. We ordered a dark chocolate fondue with Bailey's Irish cream. They served it with fruit, brownies, pound cake, pretzels and marshmallows. Tasty! And because we changed out seats so they could fit more people in this tiny space, the owner treated us to passion fruit and another chocolate with hot peppers. Both were wonderful. It pays to be nice.

Feeling VERY full we crossed the street again and bought an ice cream cake for Mother's day dessert. It was hard to imagine wanting to eat that when we bought it.

The next day dad made blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Lunch was fresh green beans (good and healthy!), KFC chicken, coleslaw and biscuits and my sister made mac and cheese with extra butter and cheese. I was glad hubby was working because he would have been grossed out by the fat content. I stuck to chicken, beans and coleslaw. Stuffed again, I was happy that I had walked that morning and considered going again before dinner. Unfortunately, it rained and rained and was windy as all get out. Dinner was a delicious pork shoulder roast, sauerkraut, fresh asparagus, cooked apples and mashed sweet potatoes.

Really, why do we eat so much? I do not eat nearly that much at home. It does probably explain my constant battle with my weight though. When I chose to have one hot dog for lunch, my mom who has always been worried about my weight, asked if I was sure I didn't want 2 hot dogs....NO!!!!

I wish food were not so central in may life. I am happy that I like to exercise, I would do it 2 hours or more a day if I had the time. Constant battle, constant awareness and a lifetime of bad choices. It is the one thing I should have control over but feel like I don't.

Friday, May 9, 2008

30 minute drive home

Wow it's late
I would love a drink
my head hurts too much to drink
better stay in my lane
mmm pancakes sound good
I am hungry
whoa, where'd that ambulance come from!
lofts....when did apartments become lofts?
guy at the bus stop looks crazy
oops red light
what if he tries to get in my car
green light
I hope I don't get pulled over
I'd pass the sobriety test
but my dr lis is expired
wonder when the new one is coming?
Must pack passport tomorrow
my head still hurts
I am hungry
glad I am not stuck in that traffic
gas for 3.55
too bad they're closed
zoning out
zoning out
zoning...hey I was really zoning out there
I'll sing
ouch my head hurts too much to sing
almost home
hope I don't get pulled over
cruise control is a good thing
wonder what the fine is for expired dr lis?
did i just hit the clutch or the brake?
no matter
hope a coyote does not run out into the highway
look some deer
ahhhhh home safe and sound

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Single life

Well for the past few days I have been a single woman. Husband and son went East to work and see the grandparents. I had been looking forward to this. And if you think that I am going to wax poetic on how sad and lonely I am and say how much I missed them and how empty the house is....fuhget about it! I have really been enjoying the quiet.

I have gotten so much done! The first night I rode my young horse and then stayed to have a glass of wine with Rachel after. When I got home, I went through Jake's clothes and got ride of the stuff that was too small (not the too small stuff that I really thought was cute though, just in case..)

The next morning I was up early as usual but I did my morning tasks at my leisure. Fed the horse, pulled a few weeds, fed the dogs, showered (uninterrupted), got dressed but ran out of time for breakfast. That night I had a graduation portrait shoot. I was nice not to worry about how much I was paying a sitter or worse still, where Jake was while I was shooting. When I got home it was too late for dinner so I made some Carnation instant breakfast. I picked up the house because our housekeeper comes every other Thursday to clean. Yes, I pick up so she can clean the house. Can't clean if you can't get around.

Today I was working a night shift which starts at 2pm. I had a nice walk before it got hot. I puttered in the yard until the housekeeper came. Then hung out outside with the farrier when he came to shoe Bailey. I took in dry cleaning, got a HUGE breakfast taco and cleaned my saddle. Then I got the riding mower out and mowed part of the yard, cleaned the mower deck (no easy task, it involves a jack) and set out for round two of lawn cutting to finish up. After the rider mower, the rest of the lawn was dry enough for the push mower. I had to empty the bag 3 times!! I didn't cut the backyard because it was getting hot, I wanted a shower and I was hungry.

The rest is routine but I got to work on time and am still here as a matter of fact....waiting for basketball playoff pics to come in so I can go home!

Tomorrow another action packed morning before flying off to see my boys.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Vegies in every corner

Rising prices of food have me slightly freaked out. We have a large raised bed garden but it is nearly full with onions, peas, tomatoes, and cucumbers. The onions will come out soon giving me more space for squash and the peas will never really mature because they came up too late. They may add some nitrogen to the soil though.

I got to thinking about where I could put more vegetables in. I have some blank spots in my garden and a sprinkler system. Why not put in vegies instead of flowering annuals?

Saturday Jake and I had planting day. I taught him how to dig a nice hole, gently take the plant out of the pot and tenderly pull the roots apart so they can spread and grow. We put peppers in every smallish blank space we could find. Then I tilled a largely unused area where things had gotten out off hand. I tilled in some compost and taught Jake how to make hills for zucchini. He had fun making the holes and putting the seeds in. We "tucked them into bed" and watered them in.

I noticed that I had a downspout near this are that used to have a rain barrel. I moved it to be closer to my raised bed garden (although it leaks, that will be another story I am sure). I bought a heavy duty trash can with a lid and cut a hole in the top for the down spout. We had a heavy rain last night and saw that it was full. I think I may drill some over flow holes near the top so the top will not pop off. Now I have three water collection areas. I would love to have a huge tank but I can't seem to get my husband to sign off on that one.

Now we have tomatoes, peppers, New Zealand Spinach, squashes, cukes, onions and eggplant. We also have peach trees, pecan trees, plum, pear, apricot and apple (they are not producing yet, bummer). One our screened porch I have a lime tree and two small Meyer lemon shrubs. Even if it does not help with the food bills, I am hoping we will have safe organic vegies throughout the summer.